Marriage of Convenience

Getting married is usually an enormous highlight and milestone for teenagers and young adults as they believe they have so much love for each other and so much for which to live.  Unfortunately, those dreams disappear, sometimes slowly over the years and sometimes quickly using the fingers on one hand to count that passing of time.

• We marry for love
• We marry for security
• We marry for children
• We marry to develop alliances
• We marry to get away from parents
• We marry because of a divorce
• We marry to keep family traditions

AND...  in the courtship that always precedes a marriage, we share our feelings with our potential partners hoping to find that we have much in common or creating a commonality whether or not one was there at all in the beginning.

ALL TOO OFTEN...  marriages fail...  the data shows that 50% of ALL FIRST MARRIAGES FAIL....  and, this has been the pattern in the USA for a couple of decades or more before the year 2000 rolled around.

SOMETIMES...  second marriages start off exactly as first marriages do without all the POMP AND CEREMONY but there is more of a give and take that was not there before...  and sometimes, when there was a lot of giving in the first marriage and none in return, the second marriage lays the foundation for it to be over pretty damn quick.

HOWEVER...  when these second marriages have lasted long than they should and the participants are well into their sixties, it is very difficult to leave the security of the marriage in the hopes of finding another or facing the prospects of living one's life alone...  that marriages of convenience are created whether intentional or not as a way of simply accepting the cards that one has been dealt.

These marriages of convenience have NO LOVE AT ALL between the two parties in question and quite honestly their lives start moving in polar opposite directions.  The couple is polite to each other but no diplomatic in the way they go about it and quite often there is disdain and contempt displayed because there is nothing they can do about their situation.

Outside of the marriage, no one would ever suspect a problem.

For those who really want a partner on which they can depend and share love, these marriages of convenience are living hells...  as portrayed in the following lyrics by THE EAGLES...

LYIN' EYES

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel

She rushes to his arms, they fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile
She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't now way to hide your lyin' eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool

My oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things?
You're still the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes