There were times when I wanted to die because I was vomiting so much and trips to the ER with infusions of Zofran were the only cure. There were times when I did not feel that I had cancer at all and none of my treatments caused my hair to fall out. However, the treatments not only screwed up my thyroid but caused me to be susceptible to basal cancers and squamous cancers several of which I have had surgically removed in a clinic.
Because of pre-treatment steroids to keep down sickness, I gained 30 lbs of weight over a 10-year period of time that I have subsequently lost. However, I am experiencing extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, anxiety, and mild depression, along with anemia, low to non-existent immunity, and night sweats that are so profound that in many cases I sweat through a bathrobe that I have put on because my sheets were completely wet around my chest and mid section.
There is something comforting about still being alive to complain...
In 2009/2010, I went to NYC 3 times to have stents put into my heart arteries instead of having a triple bypass. An angioplasty in 2022 revealed that the stents were still pristine and doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing... although, I believe my diet has supplemented their effort, as I stopped eating red meat at age 60, concentrating on vegetables, fish, chicken, and legumes that some people might refer to as beans. I especially like black beans, white beans, pinto beans, and lentils.
Five weeks ago, I had back surgery to fuse L2-L3-L4-L5-S1 together and while the pain from the actual surgery was minimal, learning how to walk again has been a real pain in the ass. I was told that I should see significant results by week 12... and, I hope that is the case because my results at week 5 SUCK. I can only walk unaided for about 10 minutes. I cannot walk up a staircase without using the handrail to pull me up... but, I can walk down just fine. I just started standing in one place without discomfort and just started being able to stand erect without bending over. I still cannot put on socks, tie my shoes, or lift anything over 12-15 pounds.
Interestingly, I can walk in a pool unaided and have done so for over an hour without getting tired. However, the results do not translate 100% when I am out of the water. It seems that my back muscles are having to learn all over again to help me walk. Also, walking any distance today is a huge chore and I find myself expending a lot of energy that I never needed to expend before. If I walk around the track once at the Community Center which is 1/16th of a mile, my t-shirt is soaked with perspiration and I feel rather exhausted... both sensations are not normal for me.
I consented to the surgery at 74 because I figured it would be harder to recover the older I became. It was only about 3-4 months ago that this even became a problem. I woke up one morning and after getting out of bed found that I had difficulty walking and that pain shot down both my legs from my butt. It was 6 weeks before I could see the orthopedic specialist and his diagnosis was later confirmed by an MRI, but he told me up front that this was old age... and, if I had not been as healthy and active as I was, it would have been worse...
Hell that was comforting...
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