At least once a month, I get out a piece and paper and a pencil and recalculate our finances to make sure that they have not changed any since last month... Of course, they have not changed, you idiot... I tell myself, but I do it anyway just to make sure...
What I calculate is this...
if I were to die today and my wife lived another 30 years (or until she was 100 years of age) do we have enough money saved for all of her bills to be paid for that long?
Last month the answer was YES... the month before that the answer was YES as well as the month before that; however, I perform those calculations every month just to ensure nothing has changed.
I take my responsibilities seriously and each day it seems that something goes on with my body that makes me wonder just how long will I continue to live.
Sometimes, it is my back and somedays it is my knees and every once in a while, it is my hips that want to aggravate me... and, this is when I feel the most vulnerable... but, the fact remains that I walk 1.5 miles a day and I sleep 8 hours each night and I eat as healthy as I can and my cholesterol is still under 100.
My mother lived to almost age 96 and I keep telling myself that despite my cancer, and my heart, I am going to live longer than she did... but, I don't care if that is true or not because of the life I have lived so far has been the exact kind of life that I wanted to live... there are no regrets and no desire for a DO OVER... it is what it is... and, I am glad that it was...
I would not have been very good at being wealthy or financially well off, because that would have made me cocky and egotistical... and I would have bought stuff for people because I could. It feels good to GIVE...
I would have spent all the money on travel more than likely and expensive cars... but not on clothes... I like jeans, t-shirts, sandals, and thin leather jackets...
If I had that kind of money, I would fly to Paris on the weekend just for a banquette and some French cheese to eat while I drink red wine. How silly would that be? Or, maybe to London for some fish and chips and a warm beer... although, I really have not gotten used to warm beer.
NO... it is best that I don't have much money or just enough as that is the lifestyle that works best for me... I enjoy daydreaming of all sorts of possibilities that I know I will never live... but, right now that is what pleases me... and I do that with a diet Pepsi and cheese thins.
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