Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that aims to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. It can take many forms, from making outright false statements to twisting the truth, denying reality, and projecting blame and shame.

Gaslighting is often used by individuals struggling to acknowledge and address their own emotional challenges and tend to “cope” by bullying or manipulating others, and displaying narcissistic tendencies to deceive and feel in control of the people they target.

Examples of Gaslighting:

• Denying something happened or insisting that something happened differently than the accused remembers.
• Trivializing your feelings—being told you’re "too sensitive" or "too emotional" when expressing your emotions.

Scenario 1: A wife asks her husband if he has been cheating on her after smelling a hint of perfume on her husband’s shirt following a reported business trip. The husband denies it, claiming to have likely picked up the scent from the woman he was sitting next to on the plane. He hints that she's overreacting, imagining things, and creating drama. He dismisses her concerns and tells her that she has trust issues that need to be addressed. The wife starts to feel guilty and ashamed for doubting her husband's fidelity, even though deep down, she feels something is off.

IF she is right in her assumptions of him being unfaithful, this would be considered gaslighting by the husband.

Scenario 2: An employee was given a task by their manager, but when the task caused serious problems and cost the company money, the manager denied ever telling them to do it. The manager said they were lying and that they “must have dreamed it.” Now, the employee is confused and frustrated as they know their manager asked them to complete this task. They feel they are being blamed for something that wasn't their fault.

Why Do People Gaslight?
There are many reasons why people resort to gaslighting, but most of them boil down to a desire for power and control. People who gaslight may be insecure, jealous, or envious of their target's strengths, talents, or achievements. They may also feel threatened, guilty, or ashamed of their own behavior and try to deflect the blame onto their target. This behavior may also be due to distorted worldviews, where lies and deception are part of their reality, and everyone else is gullible or naïve.  READ MORE...