Giving Them What They Want

"...Because everyone else has it...”

It’s a conversation we’ve had countless times in our house. It doesn’t matter what it’s about–the newest technology, the latest fad, the most popular shoes- it’s treacherous ground to add it to our want list so we can be like everyone else.

These five dangerous words are turning homes upside down. When we give our children everything they want (because everyone else has it), it speeds up their childhood: We have six year olds addicted to technology, carrying around their own ipods and iphones without limitations; eleven year old sons playing bloody battles of Assassin’s Creed over the Internet with strangers instead of playing ball outside; And 13 year old daughters shopping at Victoria’s Secret, wearing angel wings across their bums, looking far older than they are.

But worse than losing a generation of children, this choice breeds a nasty virus. Because maybe if we keep giving them everything they want, they might just drive a new car intoxicated and kill four people and be diagnosed with affluenza.

The psychologist testifying for the 16 year old boy who did just that, defined affluenza as this: children who have a sense of entitlement, are irresponsible, and make excuses for poor behavior because parents have not set proper boundaries.

Why are we saying yes to our children too early, too soon and pulling in the boundaries? I’m not sure, but I think it starts here:

• We don’t understand the future implications of giving them everything they want right now
• We want them to have the life we didn’t
• We are afraid to tell our children no because we know there will be backlash or because we think they will feel loved if we say yes.
• We want them to fit in with their peers because it’s hard to be different.
• We feel it’s often easier just to give in
• We struggle with a bit of affluenza ourselves

SOURCE:  Kristen Welch, We Are That Family

At 73 years of age and having lived through a good 60 years of learning "the hard way," I have come to the realization that the United States of America is on the way to its DARKEST HOUR.

Most of the people who read this and there will probably be not many because I am not a celebrity, or a person of power, wealth, or position will either disagree or agree but have no desire to do anything about it because it is perceived that this is not what society really wants...  that is to say...  make everyone earn their way through life and not just give everything to them...

20% of our population, I would suspect has everything that they ever wanted...  while the other 80% is not even close to what they want and will continue struggling for the rest of their lives...  unsuccessfully, I might add...  and, will never get close to what the other 20% has and takes for granted most of the time.

I was given everything I ever wanted but REJECTED IT ALL after graduating from high school and my life has been one huge struggle ever since, oftentimes just keeping my head above water financially.  For many years, I took no vacation because I did not have the money and several years more always took my lunch to work because I could not afford to eat out with everyone else.

Yes...  it was a choice I made...  and, I am not bitching...  what I am trying to say is that living this way made be a better person that I was when everything had been given.

If I had wanted wealth and fame, I surely would have found a way to get it like everyone else who eventually got there...  but, that is not the game in which I wanted to play for my life...  and, I am much better off for it.

AMERICA has brainwashed us to think this way because being GREEDY helps grow the economy which in turn make the wealthy even more wealthy...  and, relatively speaking does not really help us out at all...  except the desire to want want will always be there...  

ONE DAY, like I, you will see...

Free College Education : A Blessing in Disguise for The Rest of the World

In the Spring of 2021, I have been asked to teach a class in Personal Financial Planning for a
University that has campuses locally even though the main campus is located elsewhere...  These classes are 5 weeks in length, meeting once a week for 4 hours (6:00-10:00 pm)...  and for this the student receives 3 credits of accredited college coursework...  Personally, I am not sure if this is rigorous enough to satisfy 3 hours but the University which is managed by ACADEMIC PHD's perceives that this amount of time will suffice.

When I went to college in the 60's, our accredited college coursework hours were 45 plus outside reading, homework, and the writing of 10 page or 20 page papers.

BUT...  times have changed and we have reduced competency down from 45 hours to 20 with minimal outside reading, minimal homework if any, and not really writing any papers at all but giving powerpoint presentations.

And, it is this type of education that we want to make free to everyone so that they can get a better job, make more money, participate in and enjoy the American Dream.  The only problem with this logic is that a COLLEGE EDUCATION is already watered down just about so that any high school illiterate or dropout can pass...  now, with making it free-of-charge, every idiot will run to these hallowed halls and be given (NOT EARN) a degree...

WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?

Let me explain it this way...

During my 45 year career, not one of my employers asked to see my academic grades in order to make their hiring decisions, not even those employers that were ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS, COLLEGES, and UNIVERSITIES...

They did not particularly care what grades I made as long as I could produce and achieve the outcomes/outputs that they desired.

Achieving those outcomes and outputs was never taught directly in college.

I had to use my common sense and experience and my college education had little to do with it.

What helped me more than anything else was:

• My Discipline
• My Determination
• Teaching Myself What I Needed to Know
• Taking Responsibility for my actions
• Asking the Right Questions
• Being Proactive rather than Reactive
• Accepting Constructive Criticism
• A Willingness to go above and beyond
• A Willingness to put my job above my family
• An Ability to communicate effectively both orally and written
• A Desire to give 110%
• An Eagerness to DRILL DOWN on every task
• A Desire to work at home

None of these personality traits do I see in my students since the year 2000 or for the last 20 years, two decades that we have allowed the course of education in this country to be altered...

So...  here's my problem...  we will have a huge labor force and marketplace of college educated workers WHO WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM and ACHIEVE GOALS and OUTCOMES...  because they were never taught to think that way in college nor were they ever trained to perform on their own.

They were given an education rather than finding creative ways to EARN IT...

They will be college educated but doing the work done by high school graduates who never really learned how to perform...  but they are DAMN GOOD AT MEMORIZING...

Our businesses, industries, and corporations are competing in a GLOBAL MARKETPLACE which is not like doing chores at home and receiving an allowance...  it is a hell of a lot more serious than that...  giving away a free college education is like telling the rest of the world, that the FUTURE ECONOMIC WEALTH IS THEIRS.

The Solitude of Happiness

Most of the time we think of happiness as a state-of-mind that is typically but not always brought about by being with family, friends, co-workers, comrades and in particular those we love and who love us or so we suppose that to be the case whether it is really the case or not seems to be irrelevant...  but, happiness is not any of those things that are brought about by being with other people regardless of their sincerity or lack thereof...  happiness is indeed a state-of-mind that is only brought about by the individual and not by being in the presence of others.

Being in the presence of others is SECURITY not HAPPINESS.

• When we sleep we sleep alone.
• When we dream we dream alone.
• When we think we think alone.
• Our value to God is ours alone.
• Our birth and death is ours alone.
• Our contributions to life is ours alone.
• Our very survival may well depend upon the presence of others, but the life we lead and the body we command to our will is entirely OUR OWN.

The mistake that is often made in marriages is that we think we are marrying the other people to improve or increase our happiness when in fact that marriage is subconsciously predicated upon SECURITY and/or the avoidance of RISK.

Risk and Security in this case are based upon the joining of finances and the caring for of each other's health as two people can live more comfortably than one and if one becomes ill the other one can care for them and nurse them back to health.  The perpetuation of the species is the natural instinct of modern day marriage but again that is not happiness although happiness may be derived from having children and watching them grow and leave home.

Then...  we are back to being alone...

Our society, especially here in the US of A, has not taught us how to be alone or how to derive any happiness out of being alone...  our society has only taught us marriage and divorce and remarriage again and again until we have the good fortune to leave this life...  because our life on earth is not to prepare for our happiness but to prepare for our inevitable deaths.

My 73rd Thanksgiving

My first recollections of Thanksgiving was when I was a lad of about 7 or 8 years old and we would drive down to Winston-Salem, NC from our home in Alexandria, VA to celebrate the holiday with my father's father and all our relatives from both my mother's and father's side of the family who lived in that city as well.

I don't remember much but I do remember the smell of tobacco as we drove under the bridge connecting two tobacco plants as well as my grandfather's house that had a porch around all four walls and a large dining room where my grandfather cut the turkey in a white shirt and tie as he had just returned  home for lunch from the Drug Store he owned.

He was a skinny man with a withdrawn face and his speech was guttural and barely discernable when he gave the blessing and after the meal he returned to work and the children went outside to play in the yard.  I remember a family reunion inside a large building with 150 or so relatives who said how well they knew me and that they wished they could see more of me.

And, on Sunday we drove back home and I slept on a blanket in the back of our station wagon.

Other Thanksgivings at our home in Alexandria, VA are not remembered at all other than I know that they took place at a mahogany table with leaves that raised up on either side that would seat 8 people comfortably with two sitting on either side and 12 if we needed to but absolutely no more.  My father's grace was short and more understandable and he would always boil the meat off the turkey bones from which he would make soup...  a tradition (for some reason) that stayed with me.

No Thanksgivings during my first marriage are remembered other than I know that we seldom had them at home because we were always traveling to our parent's homes and sometimes the years were alternating and sometimes we had dinners with them both.

During my second marriage, Thanksgivings are much clearer as that now since both my parents are deceased we are always remaining at home...  My father died in 2001 and my mother died in 2015, the year that both my wife and I retired.

I still do not remember the specifics of any of these days other than a turkey is cooked and served with rice, gravy, dressing, and a vegetable or two and maybe a dessert but there is never a guarantee.  These days are spent with just the two of us...  no one else joins...  and, a blessing is never given before we eat our meal.

AND...  the problems with most traditions is that the traditions at some point-in-time will always fade away for one reason or another giving one pause to wonder why the traditions started at all.

AND...  while I do not remember what I was thinking last year, I am aware of my thoughts this year...  and, I am most grateful that my body is above ground and that all my cancers are under control, that my damaged heart is beating firm and soundly, and that the rest of my body seems to be holding steady other than the fact that I bruise a lot and quite easily.

I have lost 20 of the 40 pounds I gained while on steroids taken prior to my chemo infusions but am still not as active as I used to be 13 years ago when all of this started.

I feel blessed nonetheless that I have been given a strong body that has been able to withstand all that it has been through and blessed as well as thankful that I have not lost my faith but that it grows stronger and stronger each day that I continue to live.

It is sad though that in a few weeks perhaps months, I will not remember what I did or thought this day and that it will become just another memory that has faded away...  but was very much present and aware when it all happened. 

The World Around Us

I have seen more than my fair share of failures although I am sure that there are many others out there who have failed more than I have failed simply because they never gave up trying...  and, giving up trying happened often enough throughout my lifetime so far.  I suppose I could blame giving up on my parents but that would not be quite fair...  as one of their basic tenants when raising their children was instilling in them the need to never stop trying...  however, the problem with that is that, in my particular case, my parents wanted me to become what they wanted me to become and did not let me become what I wanted to become or thought at the time that I wanted to become, especially since it did not agree with their values.

My first attempt to become what I wanted to become came while I was being tutored on percussion instruments:  snare drum, base drum, cymbals, etc.  My tutor said I had a natural talent and offered me a job playing in a JAZZ BAND in Atlantic City, NJ one summer but my parents refused to let me go because I might get involved with drugs, alcohol, and sleazy women.

My second attempt to become what I wanted to become came shortly thereafter when I wanted to study classical and modern dance in the hopes of becoming a professional dancer.  This effort was immediately quashed because artists did not make much money and typically turned into drug addicts.

I immediately stopped my outward interest in the arts and turned inward and convinced myself that if I was going to resist becoming what my parents wanted me to be...  then I did not want them accusing me of becoming simply what I wanted to be...  so, I did not give them what they wanted nor did I give myself what I wanted...  leaping off into a completely different area altogether...

This was accomplished by allowing myself to flunk out of college, become employed as a messenger of documents that eventually lead to me enlisting in the Navy to avoid being drafted into the military since I had lost my college deferment and the Vietnam War was at its PEAK..  no one in our family had ever been an enlisted...  only officers...  this pretty much cut the cord between my parents and I.

My journey through life put me on a path of my own choosing and a path that was not always easy and left me in situations where I was able to EXPERIENCE THE UNDERBELLY OF THE WORLD AROUND US...  the dark side of life...  and, I don't necessary mean drugs and alcohol...  but the side of the worker who is forced to live paycheck to paycheck... never getting ahead no matter how hard or long they work.

These are the people that build the roads and bridges, the interstate highways and tunnels, the building and houses, and the factories that build our cars and appliances.  These people have simply accepted who they are and who or what they will never be...  outside of maybe a supervisor one day or a section leader.

Most of these people have strong Christian Values but don't try to force their beliefs on others and they keep their faith to themselves as any family problems that may arise from time-to-time.  They got to work sick because they cannot afford to take time off to go to the doctor.  They don't save their money because there is none left over to save.  They take their vacation by staying at home and working on projects around the house.  They have no need for budgets because they spend what they have on what they need and work overtime if there is ever a shortfall at the end of the month.

Most of us with COLLEGE DEGREES never see these people and when and if we do, we have no idea what they might be going through and if we did, probably would not care because they are not our problem...  being the self-centered creatures we are, greedy for more and always trying to figure out how to work less while generating more income...  THE GREAT AMERICAN WAY.

Maybe one day when you finally retire...  you will take the time to finally notice the world around you and not just see what you have missed, but understand that this is the world that you created and that you have allowed to perpetuate itself during your lifetime.

On The Back Porch

Storm clouds gather in my field of vision and I wonder how long I have out here before it starts to rain...  and even though my porch is screen in and does a relatively good job at keeping out the bugs and insects, it unfortunately cannot keep out the rain.  I prefer to sit out here and write than inside like I did for most of the summer as the humidity made me sick to my stomach, leaving me often with a feeling that I could not breathe... a changing sensation in my body that has arisen as I have grown old.

The round thermometer inside the porch reads a warm 70 degrees but I just cannot believe it is that warm today, although I feel rather pleasant sitting here in a t-shirt and my pajama bottoms which is all I seem to be wearing these days since I don't leave the house much.  And, even if this COVID disease was not upon us like it was, I doubt that I would be leaving home anymore often than I am now as there is really no place that I want to go.

During the first few years of my retirement, my wife and I traveled all over the place, going somewhere for a week (sometimes longer) every other month...  sometimes, we would drive our car...  sometimes, we would use our frequent flyer miles from using our American Express Card and fly, and sometimes, we would drive to Florida and take a cruise.  BUT...  after just a few days of being in another location and despite the sights and sounds and restaurants, we had a keen desire to simply return home.

Why spend the money if you go somewhere and wish that you were HOME...

On the porch with me is our overweight yellow cat...  overweight, not because of eating too much per se but because of all the steroids he's had to take due to his allergies that were causing him to sneeze and cough from lung congestion...   inside the house, we have two more cats, one yellow as well and has the personality of a typical cat or what one might think a typical cat should be like, and one Siamese that is not your typical cat at all, but is a typical Siamese literally HOWLS when he wants something, is very jealous and possessive...  and, who does not like being picked up or put into a cage...  which is all very interesting especially because he has asthma and must get a steroid shot too about every 90 days or so.

He has a tendency to be cold and have a heating pad under a thin blanket on which he lays on days like today, when according to him, it is a little chilly, especially when there are clouds in the sky and no sunshine.

The YETI metal coffee cup I have holds 3 cups of coffee and keeps it warm for at least a couple of hours which as far as I am concerned is not bad.  I take this cup full of coffee and leave it in the car when I go to see the doctor or when I have my cancer treatments which usually lasts 3 hours maybe a little bit more...  and, when I return to the car, the coffee inside is still very much warm and I drink it on the return drive rather than stopping.

One last item before I return inside since my laptop battery is rapidly declining and that is the KODI box that I purchased for about fifty bucks.  It easily attaches itself to a WIFI connection, and offers free movies, TV shows, and NEWS outlets many of which you have on CABLE if you are willing to pay the monthly fees.  It is a way of saving money iffen you need to...   and as far as I am personally concerned, I hate paying a fee for television service that used to be FREE...  but, that's just me.

Just a Few or Only ONE

LESSON ONE:  We are all animals...

Think about this

1. How many Generals are there?
2. How many Commanders and Chiefs?
3. How many Bill Gates, Steven Jobs, or Warren Buffets?
4. How many CEO's can there be for one company?
5. How many millionaires or billionaires?
6. How many geniuses or prodigies?
7. How many Jesuses?
8. How many managers and supervisors?
9. How many ministers or priests for a church?
10. How many Popes at one time?
11. How many Kings or Queens?
12. How many Vice Presidents, Mayors, or Governors?
13. How many boat Captains?

AND YET...  there is the ASPIRATION within the hearts, minds, and souls of everyone of us who serve in a capacity of below the TOP, to want to one day...  finally get there...

While some leadership styles are not as obvious as the photo, the metaphor derived from the photo is absolutely correct in application...  and, in most cases all we have to do is increase one's salary or wages a little bit and we can get them to perform any dance that we want to including those they don't know or understand.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY and not ABOUT THE BASS.

THE AMERICAN DREAM: Collective Equality

Is the American Dream available to everyone in terms of a COLLECTIVE EQUALITY as it so states in our Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, and the Bill of Rights?

Let me give you examples, and you can make up your own mind...

1.  Everyone has the right to an education including college but does everyone have the right to make the same grade of "A"?  Is everyone blessed with the same amount of intelligence and if the "A's" get you a better job then there will never be equality in terms of level of employment.  And, what about those that have more intelligence and can get into the better schools, how does one justify educational equality in that sense...  but yes, I suppose you do have the right to attend.

2.  What about becoming a Professional Athlete?

You certainly have the right to try...  but, if you don't have the latent skills and abilities, your equality ends there...  no matter how much you plead that you are in a minority and need special treatment in order that equality be fair and justified for all Americans.

3.  What about gender equality?

A.  Do you not think that both males and females once they enlist in the military should be on the front lines in a military conflict or battle...  unless the male is injured or the female is pregnant...  but, I suppose the female could be injured as well, although the male will never be pregnant.

B.  Do you not think that both males and females should play together on the same football, baseball, basketball, soccer, and rugby teams...  

4.  What about the medical profession?

It would be IDEAL if all the doctors, surgeons, dentists, and ophthalmologists had the same equal abilities and skills and if that were the case there would be no need for malpractice insurance...  YES...  it is true there is equal opportunity to become a medical professional, but there is never going to be equality in one's medical skills and abilities no matter what the legislation says there should be.

SO...  I would submit to you that regardless of what is written in the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, or the Bill of RIGHTS...  there will never be EQUALITY in the United States of America...  that's just the way it is and the way it will always be...

SO...  because there will never be equality so too will there never be AN EQUAL VISION OF THE AMERICAN DREAM...  there will always be versions of the American Dream...  and, until you become the wealthiest man or woman in the USA, the American Dream for you means you WILL ALWAYS BE LESS than those above you...  and, the odds are, their American Dream will NEVER BE YOUR'S and vice versa.

BUT...  you do have the right to try...

Desperations have no limitations...

THE AMERICAN DREAM: Individual Rights and Freedoms

Do you really think that we actually have individual rights and freedoms in the United States of America as it so states in the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, and the Bill of Rights?

If you were to ask the BLACKS about this question, they would say NO faster than stink on shit and try to force you out of the way while they try to reclaim what the WHITE MAN CRACKER stole from them thinking themselves a little bit better than the Native American regarding their suffering during slavery and in their opinions well beyond.

If you were ask the POOR WHITE TRASH that live in trailer parks and work as janitors and on maintenance crews and who build our highways and roads and they would also say NO faster than stink on shit as well because they feel that the system is rigged against them because of who they are and where they were born and what they have to do to earn a living.

If you were to ask the immigrant who migrated into this country either legally or illegally and they would say a resounding YES quicker than stink on shit because it is a hell of a lot better than it was in the land that they left and they do mind doing anything at all because anything in the USA is better than being back home.

If you were to ask the Southern Rednecks and Hayseeds who had no choice but to enter into military service and fight and die for this country, they would say a unanimous NO quicker than stink on shit because of all the Confederate Statues that are being taken down because the BLACKS are bitchin'.

Individual rights and freedoms are a tricky business for our federal government and courts who are trying to please everyone who has the ability to INFLUENCE THEM and act accordingly in their re-elections, especially since this is a Democracy and the people elect who will govern them...  and, in the struggle for political power, we will always have WINNERS and LOSERS regardless of what the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, or the Bill of Rights says...

SO...  the AMERICAN DREAM can NEVER TAKE PLACE for EVERYONE...

THE AMERICAN DREAM: Prosperity, Success, and Happiness

The “American Dream” is a sort of ethos or set of beliefs that drive many U.S. citizens as they work toward creating a life for themselves. This set of ideals – which includes notions of individual rights, freedom, democracy, and equality – is arguably centered around the belief that each individual has the right and freedom to seek prosperity and happiness, regardless of where or into what circumstances they were born. A key element of the American dream is the belief that through hard work and perseverance, anyone can rise “from rags to riches”, becoming financially successful and socially upwardly mobile.  SOURCE:  CorporateFinanceInstitute.com

The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, the set of ideals (democracy, rights, liberty, opportunity and equality) in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, as well as an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers. In the definition of the American Dream by James Truslow Adams in 1931, "life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement" regardless of social class or circumstances of birth.

The American Dream is rooted in the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims that "all men are created equal" with the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Also, the U.S. Constitution promotes similar freedom, in the Preamble: to "secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity".  SOURCE:  Wikipedia

The American Dream is predicated upon:

• Liberty and Freedom
• Individual Rights
• Collective Equality

Do you think that this is what you currently have?

PERCENTAGE DISTRIBUTION OF HOUSEHOLD INCOME IN USA IN 2019

9%                 Under $15,000

8%                 $15,000 - $24,999

8.3%              $25,000 -  $34,999

11.7&             $35,000 - $49,999

16.5%            $50,000 - $74,999

12.3%            $75,000 - $99,999

15.5%            $100,000 - $149,999

8.3%              $150,000 - $199,000

10.3%            $200,000 and over

99.99%

NOTE:

• 53.5% of the Households in AMERICAN have income UNDER $75,000
• Average Cost of Living in USA (excluding rent) per family - $48, 540 per year
• Average Rent for a 2 bedroom apartment $1200/month or $14,400 per year
• Total average annual cost per family per year $62,940

The above American Dream is based upon one's finances...   and has little to do with either liberty, freedom, individual rights, or collected equality...  although it is assumed in this example of finances that individual rights and collective equality has been exercised...

BUT...

WHAT DOES 

THE AMERICAN DREAM

MEAN TO YOU...  

PERSONALLY?

The Day Before Thanksgiving and All Is Not Well

We refer to our country as AMERICA and to its citizens as AMERICANS and while that is partially true, it is also wrong because being an AMERICAN refers to both the North, Central and South America continents...  North America is the United States and Canada.  Then we have Central America, and last but not least is South America all of whom are technically considered to be AMERICANS...

Is it not a tad ARROGANT to think of US citizens as the only AMERICANS or is it because we are a tad ignorant and don't know our history as well as we thought we did when graduating from high school?

AND...  now we are at the day before Thanksgiving and we are going to over eat and over indulge in alcohol and in those states where marijuana is legal we are going to over indulge in that as well, without the slightest consideration for the history of the holiday for the most part.

US American citizens care more about what their country can do for them rather than caring about what they can do for their country...  The more we have social programs the less that our citizens do for their country and the more we expect the wealthy to pay for our THANKSGIVING DINNERS....  which is actually a metaphorical statement as to what is happening in the US of A.

AND...  as a senior citizen...  one could say that I don't much care because of what is going to happen to you alone because by then I will be dead...  but, the more we expect our country through the wealthy to do for us, the WEAKER we as a people become.  Not weaker in terms of money or technology or healthcare but weaker MENTALLY and that MENTAL WEAKNESS will start to erode and lessen our LOYALTY to the country that gave us all we have.

ALL IS NOT WELL IN THE US of A not because we do not have the natural resources, the technology, the innovations, the freedoms, and the WEALTH but because we are losing sight of our EDUCATION and KNOWLEDGE and will soon lose our freedoms because of our bliss and military weaknesses.

• CHINA has the largest military in the world today...   the USA is second...
• INDIA has the next largest military and then there is
• NORTH KOREA...
• RUSSIA is in there somewhere but because it is no longer the USSR it is much smaller and then there is the
• MIDDLE EAST and all the rag heads in that area as US American military personnel calls them

AND...  while we think our economy is the largest in the land, we have been fooled again but our insightful leaders and the media they control because in terms of PURCHASING POWER PARITY, the largest economy in the land is now CHINA...

Please pass me another joint to have with my beer or wine or alcohol as the combination is mind blowing...  as I have been told...  and, after we finish our Thanksgiving Meal, lets ride to a fast food and get us a burger...  or, maybe some ice cream...

AND...  if that isn't enough...  check our where the USA ranks globally in terms of education K-12 and it will surprise you that we are number 15th.

AND...  if you really want another surprise and cannot wait for CHRISTMAS do a google search my friends on the FREEST COUNTRIES in the world and you will see that the USA is no longer at the top...  and yet, we are supposedly the ones who have all these freedoms...  well...  guess again...  your liberal government has gradually taken them away from you...  but go ahead and enjoy your thanksgiving...

Check out the CATO INSTITUTE and the PEW RESEARCH CENTER and articles that have been published in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE and USA TODAY and US NEWS and WORLD REPORT if you think my words are deceiving...  and, find out for yourself...  the state our States are in while we over eat, over drink, and get chilled out on marijuana...  the more we give US citizens in the way of social programs, the more the lull them to sleep in beds of ignorance.

Back in the USSR

 

In the decades after it was established, the Russian-dominated Soviet Union grew into one of the world’s most powerful and influential states and eventually encompassed 15 republics:

1. Russia
2.  Ukraine
3.  Georgia
4.  Belorussia
5.  Uzbekistan
6.  Armenia
7.  Azerbaijan
8.  Kazakhstan
9.  Kyrgyzstan
10.  Moldova
11.  Turkmenistan
12.  Tajikistan
13.  Latvia
14.  Lithuania
15.  Estonia

In 1991, the Soviet Union was dissolved following the collapse of its communist government. 

The post-Soviet states, also known as the former Soviet Union,  the former Soviet Republics and in Russia as the near abroad , are the 15 sovereign states that emerged and re-emerged from the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics following its breakup in 1991, with Russia being the primary de facto internationally recognized successor state to the Soviet Union after the Cold War while Ukraine, by law, proclaimed that it is a state-successor of both the Ukrainian SSR and the Soviet Union which remained under dispute over formerly Soviet-owned properties. 

The three Baltic states were the first to declare their independence, between March and May 1990, claiming continuity from the original states that existed prior to their annexation by the Soviet Union in 1940.The remaining 12 republics all subsequently seceded. 12 of the 15 states, excluding the Baltic states, initially formed the CIS and most joined CSTO, while the Baltic states focused on European Union and NATO membership.

It's Rock and Roll Baby

What musical groups have sold the most records in the world?

In  rank order, they are:

1. The Beatles — 183 million units
2. Garth Brooks — 156 million units
3. Elvis Presley — 146.5 million units
4. Eagles — 120 million units
5. Led Zeppelin — 111.5 million units
6. Billy Joel — 84.5 million units
7. Michael Jackson — 84 million units
8. Elton John — 79 million units
9. AC/DC — 75 million units
10. Pink Floyd — 75 million units

Of course, this list does not take into consideration the new 

musical wonder group from South Korea:  

                                BTS...  (Korean: 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan), also known as the Bangtan Boys, is a seven-member South Korean boy band that began formation in 2010 and debuted in 2013 under Big Hit Entertainment.[3] The septet—composed of RM, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook—co-writes and co-produces much of their own output. Originally a hip hop group, their musical style has evolved to include a wide range of genres. Their lyrics, often focused on personal and social commentary, touch on the themes of mental health, troubles of school-age youth, loss, the journey towards loving oneself, and individualism. Their work features references to literature and psychological concepts and includes an alternative universe storyline. The group has released several albums and performed on several world tours.

HOWEVER,

Bing Crosby's 1942 WHITE CHRISTMAS has sold the most single copies worldwide in musical history...  odd, since the song is about a Christian Holiday and no doubt there are many non Christians who celebrate Christmas because it is the day that presents are exchanged and lots of food is eaten and lots of alcohol is consumed regardless of the religious underpinnings.

Teaching Oneself Not To Want More

 NOT TO WANT MORE IS UNAMERICAN...

NOT TO BE GREEDY IS UNAMERICAN...

Yes...  it is hard to believe that someone living in the US of A does not feel this way (see above)...  but, let me assure you that I do and have felt this way for a long, long time.

My first job after college, I really did not care about making more than I needed to pay my bills and take a couple of week long vacations and a few extra presents for the Holidays and Birthdays; but, as my daughter increased in her age, I found myself wanting more so that I could give more to her...

That desire for GREED and WANTING MORE stayed with me until I was in my 40's and moved from the Piedmont of North Carolina to the Valley of East Tennessee and began to witness first hand that wanting more was not all that it was cracked up to be...  and so, I gradually started cutting back and becoming debt free.  My first selections were quitting smoking and drinking alcohol.

While it may seem quite obvious to you, it was not yet to me that wanting less allowed me to earn less and not be pressured to moving up the ranks so that I could move up the ladder and increase my income...  although, there were still things that I thought I wanted or needed so money became a necessary evil.

UNTIL...  at the age of 60, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and shortly thereafter had a serious heart attack due to heart arteries being blocked 100%, 90%, and 90% and reduced my ejection fraction to right around 20...  now...  many of you may not realize how serious it was...  but, let me share what the Cardiologist told me...  if I had not been so damn healthy and my heart created separate little blood vessels to bypass on their own the bad ones, I would not be alive today to tell my story.

FINALLY...  GREED and WANTING MORE was absolutely no longer important...

I did not need 

• a new car every 5 years
• a bigger house
• a vacation home
• trips to Europe or Cruises
• new clothes or shoes
• concerts, sports events, or movies
• a whole lot of food from the grocery
• at the most expensive times

It did not matter what my neighbors did or the things that my friends purchased to make their lives more meaningful nor did it matter what my siblings had or were able to give to their families...  things are nothing more than things...  and, after a few months of use, all these things just sit around and gather dust.

At 73 years of age, I find just how little out of life that I really need to be content and satisfy my happiness.

1. I need my faith
2. I need healthy 5 small meals a day
3. I need my modest debt free home
4. I need only reliable transportation
5. I need enough income or savings to pay my must have bills
6. I need access to the internet
7. I need a laptop computer
8. I don't need but have a cell phone

What Is Life Exactly?

Life is life and nothing more, I suppose...  but, it means different things to different
people depending upon where one lives, one's financial means, and one's personality, motivation, and determination.  

And, while that may not sound abundantly clear at first, let me try to explain.

Growing up in the South is different than growing up anywhere else even if you have the same parents and the same financial status because the South has different cultures than anywhere else...  and those difference are not easily understood until one lives in Southern jurisdictions.

Similarly, growing up pretty much anywhere in the United States is different that growing up in Europe:  Great Britain, France, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Russia, and countries from the former Soviet Union.  It is also different growing up in South America, Canada, Africa, China, Asia, or Australia.

Each of these countries and/or locations have different:  values, ethics, personalities, and integrities even though we are all human beings.

Since we are all human beings what do we have in common?

• Inside our bodies are the same as well as outside although we have different features
• We are all born and we all die
• We eat, defecate, and procreate
• We have spirits, minds, and thoughts although some are different and not so understandable
• We all have the instinct to survive and experience greed
• We are all susceptible to various diseases
• We all have the ability and capabilities to learn
• We all have skill albeit different

AND YET, life is different for every single one of us...

• some want power and fame
• some want wealth and glory
• Some want to be in the military and go to wars
• some want to be artists and musicians
• some want to be athletes and coaches
• some of us want to write while others want to read
• some want to control
• some want to be controlled
• some of us just want to be left alone
• some of us want what we can never have
• some of us have what we never wanted
• some of us have faith while others have spirituality

AND...  while life is basically vastly different for each of us, we all still one inescapable truth that we share and that is the passing of TIME...

SO...  life represents the passing of TIME and what each of us does with or uses it.

Today is Almost History

 

I have often wondered why there are some AMERICAN who hate animals and treat them with such disdain and cruelty...  It goes beyond my imagination, other than to think that perhaps they do not see animals as worthy of living...  because they are just animals...  or, is it because that animals of all shapes and sizes were hunted by AMERICANS for hundreds of years for food when we were savages...  or, at least simply trying to keep ourselves alive and animals provided the source of food to achieve this objective.

EVEN SO...  we are no longer savages...  although, we still kill an abundance of animals for our source of food which provides our survival:  cows, pigs, sheep, goats, chickens, turkeys, and all sorts of fish and fowl...  simply because animals were put on this earth (by whom exactly) for our purposes and our purposes only.

Isn't It Funny?

ISN"T IT FUNNY...  or perhaps a tad ironical that it is typically the middle class and poor people that make other people wealthy.

This is not speculation or conjecture but an absolute fact of our human nature... 

take for example rock and roll and country music stars...  

• Who buys their record?  
• Who buys a ticket for their concerts?  
• Who buys their merchandise?

It is the people who can least afford the expense that buys the most of it, so that they can at least give a little something to themselves.

And...  our professional athletes...

• Who buys the tickets?
• Who buys the merchandise?

It is the people who can least afford it that buys the most of it...

And...   our movie stars...

• Who buys the ticket to the theater?
• Who buys their photographs?

AND...  once they get wealthy, we want to tax their earnings more and more so that we can force them to give some of it back to us through our public and social programs...  believing that for some reason, we actually deserve it.

AND...  BTW...  the same thing holds true for:

• automobiles
• cell phones
• tablets and ipads
• computers and laptops
• clothes and shoes
• appliances
• restaurants

 

IT IS THE CONSUMER 

THAT MAKES 

THESE OTHER PEOPLE 

WEALTHY...

We Simply Die Alone

 

Obviously, I have posted a lot of stuff other than that stuff that is on my mind, so I have somewhat violated the intents and purposes of my blog as stated on the masthead, but one could also mount a reasonable defense that all this stuff was ONCE UPON A TIME in my mind as clutter.

Still, this blog was more-or-less supposed to be an online confessional diary of sorts and sometimes my post reflect that but most of the time they don't, so I will try to do better...  and, I am sure those who actually read this blog will not be bothered by it either.

At 73 years of age, I have managed to alienate my daughter, my sister, my brother, my friends if I actually had any, my wife, and before they both died my parents.  At 68 years of age, my wife claims it is too old an age to get a divorce and if she were widowed, I am sure she might be singing a different tune.  My sister, speaking on behalf of everyone has made the claim that I AM TOXIC and it is a claim that I cannot refute.

I claim to be a victim of my past and am the way I am because of the way my parents, siblings, and everyone treated me and not being a psychiatrist have no way of knowing if this is a valid claim or not, but if it is, then one could also make the case that I am in need of counseling since I cannot step out of the past and live in the future.

But, at 73 is counseling really worth it?

What's going to happen if I don't get counseling?

I will die bitter and alone...  although, the bitter concept was just to add a little spice.  I will die alone and how is that any different from the fact that I am alone already?  And, when people die, they may have people around them, but their death is their own.

We all die alone.

No one dies for us.

When my mother died, she had people all around her bed and in her room...  all her siblings and their spouses and for the last three days of her life, she was completely oblivious as to what was going on around her.  It is doubtful if she really knew if any of us were around before those three days either due to her mental state.

We simply die alone.

A Meditation Paradise

It has long since been believed by many that spending time on the beach of any large body of water and providing the the outside temperatures are warm enough to get into that water that this is the MOST RELAXING time that anyone can have...  and, while I suppose that this is true...  it is not as easy to get there...  at least by many of us who want to go...  because we simply do not have the excess money to spend on a trip like this....

Many of go to public swimming pools in the warm summer months and many of us travel to nearby recreational lakes where there is camping, cooking, fishing, swimming, and hiking...  and, there are still many of us that travel a little farther to public beaches all along the coastlines of our country...  but none of those are really anything like what it might be like to travel to Hawaii...  although, it is possible if you are living on our eastern side to get to the Caribbean fairly easily or even past our Gulf Coast down to Cancun.

But, if you want to travel to destinations in Europe, along the Mediterranean, or to Indonesia, Asia, India, China, Japan, or Australia...  you will either need to save your money for a while...  borrow the money using a credit card to pay off at a later date...  or be one of those fortunate ones THAT ARE WEALTHY...

Marriage of Convenience

Getting married is usually an enormous highlight and milestone for teenagers and young adults as they believe they have so much love for each other and so much for which to live.  Unfortunately, those dreams disappear, sometimes slowly over the years and sometimes quickly using the fingers on one hand to count that passing of time.

• We marry for love
• We marry for security
• We marry for children
• We marry to develop alliances
• We marry to get away from parents
• We marry because of a divorce
• We marry to keep family traditions

AND...  in the courtship that always precedes a marriage, we share our feelings with our potential partners hoping to find that we have much in common or creating a commonality whether or not one was there at all in the beginning.

ALL TOO OFTEN...  marriages fail...  the data shows that 50% of ALL FIRST MARRIAGES FAIL....  and, this has been the pattern in the USA for a couple of decades or more before the year 2000 rolled around.

SOMETIMES...  second marriages start off exactly as first marriages do without all the POMP AND CEREMONY but there is more of a give and take that was not there before...  and sometimes, when there was a lot of giving in the first marriage and none in return, the second marriage lays the foundation for it to be over pretty damn quick.

HOWEVER...  when these second marriages have lasted long than they should and the participants are well into their sixties, it is very difficult to leave the security of the marriage in the hopes of finding another or facing the prospects of living one's life alone...  that marriages of convenience are created whether intentional or not as a way of simply accepting the cards that one has been dealt.

These marriages of convenience have NO LOVE AT ALL between the two parties in question and quite honestly their lives start moving in polar opposite directions.  The couple is polite to each other but no diplomatic in the way they go about it and quite often there is disdain and contempt displayed because there is nothing they can do about their situation.

Outside of the marriage, no one would ever suspect a problem.

For those who really want a partner on which they can depend and share love, these marriages of convenience are living hells...  as portrayed in the following lyrics by THE EAGLES...

LYIN' EYES

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel

She rushes to his arms, they fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile
She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't now way to hide your lyin' eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool

My oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things?
You're still the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes

Songwriter As Poet

Bob Dylan is one of the most influential singer-songwriters of the 20th century, known for songs that chronicle social and political issues.

Who Is Bob Dylan?
Folk-rock singer-songwriter Bob Dylan signed his first recording contract in 1961, and he emerged as one of the most original and influential voices in American popular music. Dylan has continued to tour and release new studio albums, including Together Through Life (2009), Tempest (2012), Shadows in the Night (2015) and Fallen Angels (2016). The legendary singer-songwriter has received Grammy, Academy and Golden Globe awards, as well as the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Nobel Prize for Literature.

I have always been a fan of Bob Dylan although in the beginning of his rise to fame, when one spoke of Dylan, the listener always thought I was talking about Dylan Thomas (Dylan Marlais Thomas (27 October 1914 – 9 November 1953) was a Welsh poet and writer whose works include the poem "Do not go gentle into that good night"). And, while Bob Dylan was a songwriter/singer of the 1960's he was also, in my opinion a POET...

LIKE A ROLLING STONE

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
Threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People call say 'beware doll, you're bound to fall'
You thought they were all kidding you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hanging out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging your next meal
How does it feel, how does it feel?
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone
Ahh you've gone to the finest schools, alright Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
Nobody's ever taught you how to live out on the street
And now you're gonna have to get used to it
You say you never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And say do you want to make a deal?
How does it feel, how does it feel?
To be on your own, with no direction home
A complete unknown, like a rolling stone
Ah you never turned around to see the frowns
On the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on a chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discovered that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal
How does it feel, how does it feel?
To have on your own, with no direction home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone
Ahh princess on a steeple and all the pretty people
They're all drinking, thinking that they've got it made
Exchanging all precious gifts
But you better take your diamond ring, you better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him he calls you, you can't refuse
When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you've got no secrets to conceal
How does it feel, ah how does it feel?
To be on your own, with no direction home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone  

TANGLED UP IN BLUE
Early one mornin' the sun was shinin'
I was layin' in bed
Wondrin' if she'd changed at all
If her hair was still red
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like
Mama's homemade dress
Papa's bank book wasn't big enough
And I was standin' on the side of the road
Rain fallin' on my shoes
Heading out for the east coast
Lord knows I've paid some dues
Gettin' through
Tangled up in blue
She was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
I helped her out of a jam I guess
But I used a little too much force
We drove that car as far as we could
Abandoned it out west
Split up on a dark sad night
Both agreeing it was best
She turned around to look at me
As I was walkin' away
I heard her say over my shoulder
We'll meet again some day
On the avenue
Tangled up in blue
I had a job in the great north woods
Working as a cook for a spell
But I never did like it all that much
And one day the axe just fell
So I drifted down to New Orleans
Where I was looking for to be employed
Workin' for a while on a fishin' boat
Right outside of Delacroix
But all the while I was alone
The past was close behind
I seen a lot of women
But she never escaped my mind
And I just grew
Tangled up in blue
She was workin' in a topless place
And I stopped in for a beer
I just kept lookin' at the side of her face
In the spotlight so clear
And later on as the crowd thinned out
I's just about to do the same
She was standing there in back of my chair
Said to me, Don't I know your name?
I muttered somethin' under my breath
She studied the lines on my face
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
When she bent down to tie the laces
Of my shoe
Tangled up in blue
She lit a burner on the stove
And offered me a pipe
I thought you'd never say hello, she said
You look like the silent type
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century
And everyone of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul
From me to you
Tangled up in blue
I lived with them on Montague Street
In a basement down the stairs
There was music in the cafés at night
And revolution in the air
Then he started into dealing with slaves
And something inside of him died
She had to sell everything she owned
And froze up inside
And when finally the bottom fell out
I became withdrawn
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin' on
Like a bird that flew
Tangled up in blue
So now I'm goin' back again
I got to get to her somehow
All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenters' wives
Don't know how it all got started
I don't know what they're doin' with their lives
But me, I'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint
We always did feel the same
We just saw it from a different point of view
Tangled up in blue

One Thing Is Abundantly Clear...

In my mind and my mind alone, it is very clear that we really wanted and...:

• received our independence from Great Britain
• took away land from those we now call Native Americans
• ended slavery even though it took a while to recover
• ended World War I and II, Korea, and Vietnam
• increased our National debt substantially
• allowed wealth disparities to flourish
• received the right to abort undesired pregnancies
• received rights for gays, lesbians, and transgendered

BUT...  not since I can remember or cared let's say for the last 50 years or half a decade have we done anything about:

• the sell and consumption of illegal drugs
• improving our education system K12
• stopped inequalities or racial injustices
• substantially closed the gap between the wealthy and the poor or management and labor
• removing incompetent career politicians from office
• improved living conditions in our inner cities
• permitting both liberal and conservative speech to flourish

AND THIS I KNOW FOR TRUE TRUE...

In this great country of ours, if there is really something that we want to do...  the fact of the matter is that is simply gets done and those things that we don't want to change but say we do just seem to linger and linger around like this CORONA VIRUS for sure...

My faith in America and what she used to be has melted away like the POLAR ICECAPS due to global warming and the fact that business are waiting for governments to force them to do something instead of taking the initiative...

Our lives are worth nothing more than the amount of dollars we can earn...