Today's Debriefing

Today, was much like any other day, but was different in that I actually accomplished more than I had originally set out to do which does not happen too often, at least with me...  Yesterday, I had gone to the dentist for something that I thought was routine and ended up leaving with a root canal and a crown and knowledge that I had another tooth that would soon be needing a root canal and crown.

Fortunately, I used my stimulus money to pay for it...  thank goodness for the democrats...  without their desire to spend money like a drunken sailor I would have had to pay for this out of my own pocket and that would have sucked.

Anyway, after the numbness wore off, my mouth and jaw continued to hurt even after 12 hours so I took a couple of tylenol and was able to fall asleep.  this morning when I awoke the pain was gone and I am wondering if that had anything to do with my productivity.

Not only was I able to combine blogs today, but I posted several to my poetry blog,  wrote 7 pages on my work in progress novel, cooked some squash, zucchini, onions, peppers, and rice (enough for 3 meals) and make myself a ribeye steak, green onion, peppers, mushroom, tomatoes, and cheese omelette. (omelet)...  of which i ate half and will eat the other half tomorrow.

I was also able to make several postings of items I liked that I found online to one blog rather than spreading them around to several different blogs which was much more convenient as well as much more logical.

I have no more appointments until next wednesday and thursday when I have to go in for my monthly cancer treatments.  so far, the cancer treatments are working as i am in my 13th14th year, depending upon how the years are counted.  That is to say, counting each year separately or  increasing counting each time you move from one year to the next.

For example, the years 2019 and 2020 could either be counted as 2 years or as 1 year....  and my count would also depend upon when i actually started...   either january or june/july.

Most of my days are spent inside and i really need to start thinking about returning to or adding in an exercise routine into my schedule.

Life Goes On

Life in America now is different than life in America was...  at least for the old timers...  who were around in the 1960's with the Vietnam War, Demonstrations on college campuses, Race Riots, and Woodstock...  although, there is more to it than just that...  it also includes an increase in the quality of life that revolves around:

• higher wages
• better healthcare
• quality education
• housing
• clothes
• technology
• transportation
• communications

AND...  just when life starts to get interesting, my mentality is to retire and extricate myself from the rigors or employment which is mainly because of asshole bosses who are more incompetent than government workers.

Retirement is good...   and, it is good not because I can sleep in or not shave or wear what I want to, but because I have enough money to do whatever it is that I want to do even with my limited resources...  in other words, I can go out to dinner and order the $13 Salmon rather than the $25 Filet Mignon...   or, I can go to a resort area on the East Coast and get an efficiency condo for $1,200/week rather than an efficiency condo for $2,500/week.

During the winter months, I pretty much stay inside but when the weather is warm, I am on the back porch or I am working in the yard; however, regardless of the weather and my physical location, I spend an enormous amount of time writing.  My writing consists of articles that I publish on my 3 blogs, most of which I write myself, others borrowed but given credit, publishing poems on my 4th blog, and writing a few pages each day on a novel.

To date, I have written two and a half novels, and am working on my 4th without finishing my 3rd.  Why did I do this?  No sure...  other than I got tired of writing or questioned my ability to write and when I returned, decided to start something new.

Will I contact publishers?

Not sure...

Am I writing just to be writing or am I writing to be published?

Again, not sure...

But, writing keeps me busy and occupied and in retirement I suppose that is a good thing.

However, some people like to continue working and continue building up their wealth.  I have no desire to build wealth as long as I have enough money to meet my needs and the needs of my wife after I die.

Am I being un American?

Perhaps...  but, I have never like the concept of GREED or the concept of climbing to the top of the ladder just so I could say that I got there...

A Retired Influence

Mornings begin slowly...  here in the valley...  what with coffee and cats and pills and cable...  food around noon - not always breakfast but more along the lines of what I am hungry for.

Blogs come next as I decide what it is that I want to accomplish with each one and how far ahead in the schedule do I want to be...  so that I don't have to post something just so I can continue to say that I post daily; although, I am reconsidering that mindset what with my daily visitor numbers.

My Reflections blog for my poetry publishing has been around since 2009, over 12 years, so it has over 14,000 pageviews or about 1,000/year or  83/month or about 3/day.

And while my other 3 blogs have been around since 2019/2020 they are averaging about the same daily pageviews as Reflections so I have a small group of readers that enjoy reading what I want to write and/or share...  because I do share articles written by other people who are writing articles that appeal to me and don't want to take the time to research and write my own opinions; however, many of those ideas I have already research before I started posting articles on blogs.

Right now, posting articles on these 4 blogs keeps me busy during my retirement...  and if I did not have these blogs to maintain, I am not sure what I would be doing...  because I really don't have any other hobbies or interests...

I am writing novels as well but I am not sure if I am going to do anything with these novels like try to find a publisher.  That effort could be emotionally stressful and I am not confident that this is what I want to engage in at my age.

I am simply comfortable with who I am right now and no longer have to worry about being something else or trying to be something else as if I am not happy with who I am...  and, I am happy with who I am.

Thoughts of an Ordinary Kind

Very few people read my blogs, especially this one so I do not really care about what I write nor do I care if you like what I write or not...  but, the sad truth is that I am going to continue to do this because I am retired and writing articles that no one is going to read gives me something to do each day.  Besides, if I did have a large following and wrote something that offended someone, the WOKE Mob would do every thing in their power to cancel me out.  Of course, I would still write until they actually convinced BLOGGER to shut me down...  and if that happened, I would go to another free blog site and start another blog that no one would read...  So, I really don't have anything to lose.

Interestingly, having nothing to lose reminds me of a serial killer who believes that if s/he kills more than one person, then the State can only kill them once.  So, the killer has nothing to lose by killing more than one person.  I thought that was a concept with a little irony since most killers would like to stay in prison all their lives rather than be put to death...  but, this one killer had a different outlook.

Today's society is screwed up and the more screwed up it becomes the more people seem to like the way the county is heading.  Personally, I don't really care one way or another.  I am tired of the roller coaster that Politicians create...  like Dems put this into place and then the GOP does the opposite and then the Dems put back into place and the GOP does the opposite.  Nothing ever gets done.

We need ONE PARTY to control America like a DEMOCRATIC DICTATORSHIP where the Democrats are elected but then they have complete authority and power because there is NO PARTY to oppose them.  The media would like that as well because it would be totally clear who to BLAME if something goes wrong, since they would no longer be able to blame the previous party.

BUT...  I do like the Dems spending money...  and the more money they spend the better I like it.  It is like having a wealthy family member who wants to share some of their wealth with the rest of the family.

Oh well...  what does it matter since no one is going to read this anyway...  Gotta run folks...  but I will be here tomorrow for a little while post more thoughts that no one will read...   Damn, you gotta love being retired.

My Desire to Write

Caricature 1977 by Tom Edgerton, a NC Artist

I wrote my first poem in high school (1962-1966) while we were living in Cairo, Egypt and it was about some female with whom I was infatuated but said nothing...  as I recall I wrote the poem in green ink while listening to "Tired of Waiting," by the KINKS.  I have no idea where that written down poem is...  probably thrown away with all my other stuff from high school that I got tired of holding onto.

In 1966, I attended a small 4 year college in North Carolina and started writing poems on a regular basis while waiting for my classes to start...  at that point, while I did not write a lot or even consistently everyday, I NEVER STOPPED WRITING...  and, a couple of years later started writing short stories along with my poems, even though I had never taken any classes in creative writing as it was just something I wanted to do.

To date that is to say from 1966 until 2020 (54 years), I have written the following:

• over 42,000 poems
• 1200 opinion articles under a fake name on LinkedIn (profile deleted after being hacked, articles lost)
• 2.5 novels (0ver 300 pages each or 90,000 words) out of 12 outlined
• maintain 4 blogs daily
• Journal of Daily Pages
• Reflections: White Scorpion
• Bipolar Scorpion
• My Cancer Pilgrimage

I did not stop writing my novels because I got tired of writing novels but because I started questioning myself about being a writer that people wanted to read...  and, the more I questioned myself, the more I decided that maybe writing novels, at this time, was not the best direction to take with my retired life.  SO...  I started focusing on publishing my poems on Reflections: White Scorpion instead.  Was this the right approach to take?  I don't know actually...  but, it is one that I am following at least for a while...  In the back of my mind, while I have no real desire to write all 12 novels, I do have a desire to complete the first 4, because the other 8 are simply sequels.

Instead of sending greeting cards, I write my own poem instead as to me, it seems that it might be more valuable since it is personal.  At the funeral of both my parents, I read poems I had written the night before in their honor.  And, my wife has volunteered me several times to write poems to several people for their high school graduation or wedding.

Writing poems is not easy although once I start, all the words just seem to flow out of me onto paper with relative easy...  however, the pump is not always that easy to prime.

Most of the time, I am writing opinion pieces on the above mentioned blogs not necessarily to increase my readership but to get those thoughts out of my mind.  As you can see, I am quite opinionated even though I am not always right.  I expect the worst but hope for the best and I am never disappointed because one of those two damn scenarios will always happen.

I have always been a rebel, breaking the rules, and sometimes making my own as I go along.  I kiss no one ass nor do I expect anyone to kiss mine.  I earn my own way, never asking anyone to open the door for me.  I will never violate my ethics or integrity, although I have violated my moral.  I am a liberal who was smoking pot and protesting long before it was popular or cool which includes wearing long hair before long hair was "in" and attended a concert called WOODSTOCK once upon a time...  there is no better music than the music of the 60's especially the lyrics because they were all poetry.

I am a conservative liberal because I don't believe in debt basically, but the liberals of today are so far out in left field that they can all kiss my ass before I will give them the time of day.  I am not into SOCIALISM, nor am I into WEALTH, POWER, and CONTROL and I don't give a damn if you want to own a gun or get an abortion but you DAMN SURE BETTER NOT TAKE AWAY MY FIRST AMENDMENT or censor the news because it does not play well.

In my opinion for the last 4 years the mainstream media should be ashamed of themselves...  and, because of what they did or did not do, I lost all respect for journalists and reporters, putting them into the same category as LAWYERS...

A Sense of Purpose

THIS MORNING...   in less than 20 minutes, I wrote down 5 poems, each of 10 lines or more, sometimes 20 and this was done spontaneously and without the blinking of an eye or hesitation so that I might find the right word...  and for me, it does not matter if the damn poems are good or not or even worth reading because these words came out of my head not yours or any other...

LAST NIGHT...  when it was dark, I ventured downstairs to the hot tub and I lay submerged in those relaxing hot waters, I looked skyward upon the sky filled with stars of all shapes and sizes whose light I was seeing was at least 8 minutes old...   and I wondered while relaxing if I would ever connect with its cosmic consciousness... and thought...

                                               

my heart beats stereophonic rhythms in my ears

when my head lays back upon the porcelain,

my body remains submerged and languishing

in the one hundred and three degree temperatures...

It was almost immediately that these 4 lines appeared in my head while staring up at the sky and wondering if I was ever going to make contact with some ancient alien...   and then, a flash of insight ran its course through my body and when it appeared at the top of me, an idea quickly formulated and simply but without a doubt knew what had to be done.

Currently, I maintain 4 blogs:

• one for poetry new and old
• one for my daily journal entries so to speak
• one for my ongoing cancer issues
• one for my paranoid schizophrenia (I only wish but I am still just bipolar)

My writings now contain the following as well:

• 42,000 poems previously written
• poetry occasionally written in notebooks
• previously written opinion articles published on LinkedIn
• two and one half novel written (300 pages each) out of 12 outlined

MY INSIGHT...  I will continue writing daily just as I have always done, but now my life's purpose is to type up and publish all of my writing on one of these 4 blogs until I have nothing left to publish other than what I am currently writing.

RETIRED...  I have been retired now, going on my 7th year, without any hobbies of which to speak or desire to play tennis or golf or sit upon the couch eating popcorn watching foolish professional compete for millions of dollars worth of salary, only to destroy their God given bodies.  For a good five years I have floundered, not really knowing what to do...  and, it was right in front of me all the time...  and, I would be dead today if it has been a poisonous snake.

Sundays in the Valley

Being retired, it is sometimes difficult to differentiate between days of the week and days of the weekend but since so much of my life revolves around doctor's appointments, treatment appointments, other appointments, and THINGS TO DO...  I find it absolutely imperative that I keep an open calendar with me pretty much all the time nowadays...

So, today is Sunday and for me it is a day without exercising as I need to give my body and it old muscles and tendons a chance to rest a little...  because, the exercising starts again tomorrow and goes through the entire week including Saturday which is down downstairs on our own stationary bike and treadmill.

But Sundays are also SPIRITUAL DAYS for me as I reflect upon all the spiritual gifts that I have been given, including my diseases as well as my ability to think and formulate opinions many of which are based upon my interpretations of what I perceive to be true or at least reasonably true in my limited way of thinking.

For instance, I am a BORN AGAIN LIBERAL actually I was never unborn from that philosophy and oftentimes my family and friends have referred to me as an irritating REBEL...  in the sense that I really do not like to obey the rules, especially when the rules do not apply to all situations as we try to force them to apply.

However, I am also a conservative in that I believe in being debt free and having no debt at all in addition to believing that it is business not the worker that create growth opportunities for the economy.  Workers, as I have come to realize throughout my 45 year career are an EXPENDABLE COMMODITY like electricity, heating and air, and paper for the Xerox machine...  even though labor perceives itself as being a tad more critical than that.

Even management and all its levels are expendable when it comes to generating a profit, earnings, and a dividend for shareholders or stockholders who have infused the business enterprise with capital.   

BUT MORE IMPORTANT is our Government.

Our Government should be SMALL and it should NOT TELL US what to do with our lives or with our bodies, especially females.  If females want to have an abortion and for whatever reason(s) they should be allowed to have that abortion...  BUT THE GOVENMENT SHOULD NOT PAY FOR IT...  that is a cost that should be the responsibility of the female, even if she was raped...  unless she can force the rapist to pay for it...  and then, our government should get involved to provide a free legal defense for the female.

My breakfasts are usually taken leisurely since I have been retired but on Sundays, sometimes Saturdays, I like to reward myself with an Omelet, breakfast potatoes, and pancakes from our local PERKINS restaurant who does an EXCELLENT job in preparing these three items.  I usually wash it all down with a POT OF COFFEE.

However today was not a Perkins day and I prepared myself a small cup of grits with vege sausage, and a 1/4 cup of shredded mixed cheese and an English Muffin and washed it all down with a pod or two or three of McCafe Coffee with two spoons of Sugar Free Cappuccino Mix...  and only two spoons as when there is more added, the balance of taste is off a tad.

I eat this quickly prepared breakfast was watch the AQUARIUM SCREEN SAVER that is provided by my ROKU box free of charge...  actually, most everything is free of charge once you purchase the box and works incredibly well if you have an internet provider.  In our case, it is Charter which is now Spectrum and is the one responsible for those stupid commercials which are easily remembered which is kinda the point I suppose.

I will remain in this vegetative state for most of the day, writing and posting thoughts on my blogs, until I realize that the sun has disappeared and it is now time for me to relax in the hot tub...

Over My Lifetime

I always write in the mornings with coffee...

From 1972 until 2015, about 43 years +/-, I have been seriously writing poetry everyday...  usually in the mornings when my mind is fresh and open...  and, when I stopped writing poetry in a serious way, I counted them all and discovered that I had over 42,000 of those jokers...  In 2009, I decided to create my first blog that would be totally dedicated (for the most part, not counting all the extra pages) to the publishing of my poems.  Nothing much happened that year, and the next year that blog was completely ignored but in 2011 I started publishing more and by 2012, I was publishing a poem everyday which lasted until 2018 when I slowed down again, and in 2019 only published two...  but, in 2020, I decided to start publishing again...  except this time, I also created three other blogs that because I was retired, felt like I had plenty of available time to devote to them.

On December 26, 2001, I began keeping a daily journal that I referred to as DAILY PAGES for some reason and I was so obsessed with writing everyday that I filled up a 100 page (200 pages both sides) every 3 months...  so, for a solid 18 years I have been writing my Daily Pages and keeping them and have all 70+ notebooks in a file cabinet in the basement.

In 2020, one of my new blogs JOURNAL OF DAILY PAGES was theoretically supposed to substitute for my DAILY PAGES but I still write in these notebooks but not as much because I have my online forum.  These days, these notebooks record my financial calculations and calories for the various meals that I cook.

This morning, sitting out on the back porch thinking about my poetry, I began to calculate how long would it take for me to publish all my poems.  According to my calculations, if I published 5 each day, it would take a little over 21 years or 10 a day would take a little over 11 years.  These last several days and some are still scheduled to be published, I have a series where 3-4 are published each day and a second series where 13 are scheduled to be published...

I'm toying with the idea of publishing all my poems before I die or before I get too old to type...

WHY?

Vanity I suppose.

Did You Know?

I maintain 7 blogs on a regular but not daily basis...

On the home page of this blog, on the right hand side, you will notice there are links to three other blogs:
Reflections:  White Scorpion
My Cancer Journey
A Bipolar Scorpion

BUT,
I also maintain three other blogs at:
Facebook
LinkedIn
Tumblr

Note:  There is "X" rated material on Facebook and Tumblr so visit those at your own risk...

Also,
I have added several pages to my Reflections:  White Scorpion blog that I will try to maintain on a daily basis as well.  Being retired, I have plenty of time.

MY BLOGS

I maintain several blogs on an irregular or daily basis besides this one.

Reflections: White Scorpion ⇒ is a poetry blog that was started in 2009 to publish the poetry that I had written over my lifetime.  Each poem is accompanied by a photo to draw the reader's attention into the poem's meaning.

We Were Just Wondering ⇒  is a blog that my friend Vic Adamus and I started in 2005.  Vic and I posted everyday until his death from colon cancer in 2015 and I continued for another year until I decided that it was a blog for the two of us not just for the one.  It is full of thoughts, ideas, and opinions that might be interesting to read from a reflective standpoint.

My LinkedIn Profile ⇒  https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-hutchins-bb8b8a2/  this is the link but I am not sure if you can actually see my profile unless you join for free...  I have published numerous articles on this forum that might be interesting to read.

My Facebook Profile ⇒ https://www.facebook.com/alan.catale.1   this is the link but just like LinkedIn, I believe you have to join for free.  My original Facebook profile was hacked and now belongs to someone else, so I started a new one under a different identity.

Other blogs that have active link on the top of the first page of this blog...
My Cancer Odyssey
A  Bipolar Scorpion

Untitled

WE ARE SHIELDED BY

THE LOOSE FITTING CLOTHES

OF OUR FAILURES AND

YET, WE CONTINUOUSLY

CHANGE OUR DRESS TO

THE SEASONS OF OUR DREAMS...

circa 1977

copyright by Alex Hutchins



This poem was written over 40 years ago more or less when I was a much younger man with much younger thoughts and a much younger imagination...  Over the years, I wrote over 42,000 poems, short like this one, but many longer, and several hundred Haiku as well...  if you would like to read more of these, I started publishing them daily on my blog...  CLICK HERE to go there.

Write When Wandering

, tumblrI have pretty much been wandering all my life and I guess I will keep wandering until I no longer live...   This blog is not the only blog I maintain...

On this blog, I have links to other blogs I maintain:

Reflections:  White Scorpion
this is where I post all the poems that I have been writing since 1972 and when I stopped concentrating on writing poetry in 2012/2015, I had written over 42,000 of those suckers...

My Cancer Journey
I have been treated for cancer since 2007/2008 and it is only recently that I decided to write about my experiences with cancer over the last decade or so in the hopes that others might benefit from reading about what I endured and continue to endure...

My Bipolar Life
well...  this is mine as well...  sometimes, I think weird thoughts, depressing thoughts, or angry thoughts and so I use this forum to share those with people...  these thoughts happen daily, so I have been posting lately.  I don't if reading my thoughts will help anyone but me but I still need to get them out of my head...

LINKEDIN
I have had an account on LinkedIn since 2001 and created a profile there because it was one of the best and still is one the best business networking forums around.  I used to post my thoughts there daily and still do sometimes but mostly it is every other day or so...  You have to have a profile to see mine.

FACEBOOK
I used to have a profile in my name there for over 5 years but it was recently hacked and my password was changed and I was locked out.  I sent Facebook emails about what had happened but they never responded, so I just created a new profile used a False Name and a very strong password.  In less than a month, I have over 2100 friends...  my name is Alan Catale if you are interested...  You have to have a profile to see mine.

TUMBLR
This blog is not maintained daily and is XXX rated for the most part...  This is where I release my inner devil...   it is listed under Catale2000  Reflections and...  You have to join for free to see this blog...

Anyway, I try to maintain all of these on a daily basis which is not that hard considering that I am retired and don't have anything else to do with my time...