Open the Door

Are you willing to open the door to your future?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

Are you willing to step through the door to the other side?

Are you willing to explore the unknown?

The Doors were an American rock band formed in Los Angeles in 1965. The band took its name from the title of Aldous Huxley's book The Doors of Perception, itself a reference to a quote by William Blake. "If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."

Do we simply see the world with our own perception in that we see whatever we want life to be?  Or, do we see life through the perception of others who have influenced us?

How much do we influence ourselves and how much do others actually influence us?

When young we were influenced by our parents and our siblings.  As we aged, by other students and after a few more years we were influenced by professors and still later by employers and/or the various social groups to which we belonged...

But whose doors of perception did we actually walk through...  ours or theirs?

We hear the word infinity but we do not really understand it...  just as we do not understand death and what happens to us afterward....  as it seems rather pointless to live 80-100 years and then it all be over when life and our universe are infinite...

Perhaps, we don't even want to open the door to perception...  afraid to see what we might find...

ONE THING IS FOR SURE...  THIS IS OUR LIFE AND NO ONE ELSES...

Do Ya Wanna Write?

The best way that I know how to answer the question:  Do Ya Wanna Write? is to answer the question by letting the reader know what I did in my life...  when I answered that question with, "yes, I do wanna write."

For me, the question was answered in 1972, 48 years ago, when I started writing poetry in the mornings so that I would have something to do while drinking coffee at McDonald's every morning before attending my college classes.

In addition to writing poetry, I joined a local Writers Club and began writing Short Stories and a couple of plays, as I recall.

I also remember taking creative writing classes at our local community college because the cost of each course was only $10.

My degree in college was English, so we were always asked to write out debates, essays, critiques, term papers, etc., and whenever we had a writing assignment, I would write more than was required unless the Professor indicated that writing more would lower the grade.

My term/research paper required a 20 page length and I would typically write a 40-50 page length.

One of my first jobs was writing package inserts for a microbiological media manufacturer which again allowed me to practice my writing.  When I directed a local non-profit, I would love to write press releases because again it allowed me to practice.

After several years, I joined LinkedIn and spent the next few years writing 1,000 word opinion articles that I posted as often as I could write them.  When I stopped that social media account, I had posted over 1,200 articles.

Next, I started writing novels and while writing those novels, maintained 4 blogs on a daily basis which also required writing and posting articles.

IN SHORT, I wrote something all the frigging time and the more I wrote the better I got or that is what others said who read what I had to write.

TO DATE, I have completed 2 - 350 page novels, and have started 2 other novels and complete a chapter outline of a third.  Before the end of 2021, I will finish all 3 in-progress novels while continuing to maintain my 4 blogs and write poetry, along with whatever other letter writing I can manage to fit in.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WRITE ALL THE TIME...

My Desire to Write

Caricature 1977 by Tom Edgerton, a NC Artist

I wrote my first poem in high school (1962-1966) while we were living in Cairo, Egypt and it was about some female with whom I was infatuated but said nothing...  as I recall I wrote the poem in green ink while listening to "Tired of Waiting," by the KINKS.  I have no idea where that written down poem is...  probably thrown away with all my other stuff from high school that I got tired of holding onto.

In 1966, I attended a small 4 year college in North Carolina and started writing poems on a regular basis while waiting for my classes to start...  at that point, while I did not write a lot or even consistently everyday, I NEVER STOPPED WRITING...  and, a couple of years later started writing short stories along with my poems, even though I had never taken any classes in creative writing as it was just something I wanted to do.

To date that is to say from 1966 until 2020 (54 years), I have written the following:

• over 42,000 poems
• 1200 opinion articles under a fake name on LinkedIn (profile deleted after being hacked, articles lost)
• 2.5 novels (0ver 300 pages each or 90,000 words) out of 12 outlined
• maintain 4 blogs daily
• Journal of Daily Pages
• Reflections: White Scorpion
• Bipolar Scorpion
• My Cancer Pilgrimage

I did not stop writing my novels because I got tired of writing novels but because I started questioning myself about being a writer that people wanted to read...  and, the more I questioned myself, the more I decided that maybe writing novels, at this time, was not the best direction to take with my retired life.  SO...  I started focusing on publishing my poems on Reflections: White Scorpion instead.  Was this the right approach to take?  I don't know actually...  but, it is one that I am following at least for a while...  In the back of my mind, while I have no real desire to write all 12 novels, I do have a desire to complete the first 4, because the other 8 are simply sequels.

Instead of sending greeting cards, I write my own poem instead as to me, it seems that it might be more valuable since it is personal.  At the funeral of both my parents, I read poems I had written the night before in their honor.  And, my wife has volunteered me several times to write poems to several people for their high school graduation or wedding.

Writing poems is not easy although once I start, all the words just seem to flow out of me onto paper with relative easy...  however, the pump is not always that easy to prime.

Most of the time, I am writing opinion pieces on the above mentioned blogs not necessarily to increase my readership but to get those thoughts out of my mind.  As you can see, I am quite opinionated even though I am not always right.  I expect the worst but hope for the best and I am never disappointed because one of those two damn scenarios will always happen.

I have always been a rebel, breaking the rules, and sometimes making my own as I go along.  I kiss no one ass nor do I expect anyone to kiss mine.  I earn my own way, never asking anyone to open the door for me.  I will never violate my ethics or integrity, although I have violated my moral.  I am a liberal who was smoking pot and protesting long before it was popular or cool which includes wearing long hair before long hair was "in" and attended a concert called WOODSTOCK once upon a time...  there is no better music than the music of the 60's especially the lyrics because they were all poetry.

I am a conservative liberal because I don't believe in debt basically, but the liberals of today are so far out in left field that they can all kiss my ass before I will give them the time of day.  I am not into SOCIALISM, nor am I into WEALTH, POWER, and CONTROL and I don't give a damn if you want to own a gun or get an abortion but you DAMN SURE BETTER NOT TAKE AWAY MY FIRST AMENDMENT or censor the news because it does not play well.

In my opinion for the last 4 years the mainstream media should be ashamed of themselves...  and, because of what they did or did not do, I lost all respect for journalists and reporters, putting them into the same category as LAWYERS...

Over My Lifetime

I always write in the mornings with coffee...

From 1972 until 2015, about 43 years +/-, I have been seriously writing poetry everyday...  usually in the mornings when my mind is fresh and open...  and, when I stopped writing poetry in a serious way, I counted them all and discovered that I had over 42,000 of those jokers...  In 2009, I decided to create my first blog that would be totally dedicated (for the most part, not counting all the extra pages) to the publishing of my poems.  Nothing much happened that year, and the next year that blog was completely ignored but in 2011 I started publishing more and by 2012, I was publishing a poem everyday which lasted until 2018 when I slowed down again, and in 2019 only published two...  but, in 2020, I decided to start publishing again...  except this time, I also created three other blogs that because I was retired, felt like I had plenty of available time to devote to them.

On December 26, 2001, I began keeping a daily journal that I referred to as DAILY PAGES for some reason and I was so obsessed with writing everyday that I filled up a 100 page (200 pages both sides) every 3 months...  so, for a solid 18 years I have been writing my Daily Pages and keeping them and have all 70+ notebooks in a file cabinet in the basement.

In 2020, one of my new blogs JOURNAL OF DAILY PAGES was theoretically supposed to substitute for my DAILY PAGES but I still write in these notebooks but not as much because I have my online forum.  These days, these notebooks record my financial calculations and calories for the various meals that I cook.

This morning, sitting out on the back porch thinking about my poetry, I began to calculate how long would it take for me to publish all my poems.  According to my calculations, if I published 5 each day, it would take a little over 21 years or 10 a day would take a little over 11 years.  These last several days and some are still scheduled to be published, I have a series where 3-4 are published each day and a second series where 13 are scheduled to be published...

I'm toying with the idea of publishing all my poems before I die or before I get too old to type...

WHY?

Vanity I suppose.

Why Do I Write?

What an interested question that I have just posed to myself...

I do not see myself as a Professional Writer because I did not earn a living from writing, nor am I a Published Writer although I did self-publish a book of poetry entitled Reflections In Thought that I sold - 500 copies in all - but, that was mainly because I wanted to teach myself the printing process.  I did all my own layout boards, burned my own printing plates, operated the printing press, collated all the printed sheets, folded, stapled, and trimmed the edges.  I sold them at a local bookstore for $10 each, paying the bookstore a commission of $2 for each one sold.  I have about 50 booklets left that I was giving away as gifts to people with whom I worked to show my appreciation.

But, that really doesn't answer the question, does it?

A wrote a couple of poems in high school but I did not really take writing poetry seriously until after graduating from high school and needed something to do while drinking coffee in the student union waiting for my 9 am classes to begin in college.  I felt self-conscious just sitting there with a cup of coffee.  I doubt those first poems I wrote were worth a damn, but when I stopped writing poetry  on a daily basis in 2015, I had written over 42,000 of those "suckers" and I am sure that some of them had to fairly good.

I write what I feel at the moment and NEVER edit anything unless there is a spelling mistake or a glaring grammatical error.

After writing poetry for several years, I created a fake profile on LinkedIn and started publishing 1,000 word opinion articles on that forum.  I used a fake name in case my employers were checking up on their employees and I did not want to be "fired" for writing something negative about who hired me which I did often.  All totaled, I wrote between 1,200 - 1,500 of those articles.

Why the range?

Well, I decided to merge my fake profile with my real profile and in so doing I lost all my fake profile articles.  I have written and published about 200 articles on my real profile.  All my articles were saved on a file on my personal computer and I have not decided yet whether to take the time to publish them all again.

So, I wrote because I feel something that I want to put down on paper and I write because I have a
personal opinion that I want to share.  Currently I am writing because I want to share my personal experiences being a cancer patient for over 12 years and my attitudes living with the highs and lows of being bipolar...   so, there is a clinical and medical reason why I write as well that was not a foundation for my writing earlier as I wanted to keep my personal and medical life QUIET...  but then, when that is done nobody learns from my experiences or mistakes.

This is why I write...  at least, this is why I think I write today...  tomorrow, I might find another or alternate reason for my public writing.

My Writing Adventure

I have a passion for writing but that does not mean that I am a professional writer or that I am even good at writing...   I just like to write...

My writing journey began in 1972 after being discharged from the US Navy, I returned to college and began writing poetry before class in the student union while drinking coffee...

In 2009, I created a blog for the sole purpose of publishing my poetry, below is the link:

Reflections:  White Scorpion

Here are some examples of the kind of poems that I write...   and, if you do visit my poetry blog please let me know what you think...


We are shielded 
by the loose-fitting
clothes of our failures,
yet we continually 
change our dress to 
the seasons 
of our dreams...
circa 1977

Figments

morning is a figment of my imagination

or, at least that is what it seems to be,

since my thoughts have been stolen by

the very aspect of old age, leaving me

with a presumption of innocence from

not being able to protect them so well.

27Feb17

Available

how silly i am to wonder

as i do these mornings

when alone with my cats

I ponder the universe

and my place within it,

hoping to case purpose

and meaning to my existence

that, in my case, appears

to be a little misplaced;

still, we all have works to perform

people to meet and things

to accomplish resemble a

an answer to our pondering,

but still i wonder in a debating

playful way what it is precisely

for which i am here and available.

4Mar17

Untitled

WE ARE SHIELDED BY

THE LOOSE FITTING CLOTHES

OF OUR FAILURES AND

YET, WE CONTINUOUSLY

CHANGE OUR DRESS TO

THE SEASONS OF OUR DREAMS...

circa 1977

copyright by Alex Hutchins



This poem was written over 40 years ago more or less when I was a much younger man with much younger thoughts and a much younger imagination...  Over the years, I wrote over 42,000 poems, short like this one, but many longer, and several hundred Haiku as well...  if you would like to read more of these, I started publishing them daily on my blog...  CLICK HERE to go there.

Write When Wandering

, tumblrI have pretty much been wandering all my life and I guess I will keep wandering until I no longer live...   This blog is not the only blog I maintain...

On this blog, I have links to other blogs I maintain:

Reflections:  White Scorpion
this is where I post all the poems that I have been writing since 1972 and when I stopped concentrating on writing poetry in 2012/2015, I had written over 42,000 of those suckers...

My Cancer Journey
I have been treated for cancer since 2007/2008 and it is only recently that I decided to write about my experiences with cancer over the last decade or so in the hopes that others might benefit from reading about what I endured and continue to endure...

My Bipolar Life
well...  this is mine as well...  sometimes, I think weird thoughts, depressing thoughts, or angry thoughts and so I use this forum to share those with people...  these thoughts happen daily, so I have been posting lately.  I don't if reading my thoughts will help anyone but me but I still need to get them out of my head...

LINKEDIN
I have had an account on LinkedIn since 2001 and created a profile there because it was one of the best and still is one the best business networking forums around.  I used to post my thoughts there daily and still do sometimes but mostly it is every other day or so...  You have to have a profile to see mine.

FACEBOOK
I used to have a profile in my name there for over 5 years but it was recently hacked and my password was changed and I was locked out.  I sent Facebook emails about what had happened but they never responded, so I just created a new profile used a False Name and a very strong password.  In less than a month, I have over 2100 friends...  my name is Alan Catale if you are interested...  You have to have a profile to see mine.

TUMBLR
This blog is not maintained daily and is XXX rated for the most part...  This is where I release my inner devil...   it is listed under Catale2000  Reflections and...  You have to join for free to see this blog...

Anyway, I try to maintain all of these on a daily basis which is not that hard considering that I am retired and don't have anything else to do with my time...