Future Shock

From an anonymous Wisconsin State Trooper

Electric vehicles have too many variables affecting battery consumption. Definitely not suited for cold climates. The following experience just cements my distaste for EV’s, especially Teslas.

I get sent to a motorist assist the other day, at the start of our snowstorm. Tesla on the side of the interstate, dead battery. So, I arrive on scene and the occupants have the right-front door open. They tell me that they can’t open any other doors, because the battery is dead. 

Sure enough. Can’t open the doors from inside or outside. The driver also can’t get her license out of the glove box where she put it during their trip. Because the glovebox opens electronically… and the battery is dead. 

You actually have to use the computer in the center of the dash to open the glovebox.

They said they had 10% battery left, should’ve been plenty to get from that location to the charging station nearby. Then all of a sudden, the whole car shut off and they coasted to the shoulder.

So now I have to find them a tow. No one wants to tow EV’s. Finally found one company to do it. 8-mile trip to the charging station in Tomah. $1,000! Normal vehicle on the flatbed would’ve been $150.

So now we’re at the Tesla superchargers. Guess what. Can’t open the f’n charging port because the battery is dead!!! The ports open, you guessed it, electronically!!! . And we also can’t open the doors now (had to close the one open door when it was loaded onto the wrecker). The owner's manual is in the on-board computer, but the battery is dead.

I got the occupants to a store where they’d be warm while calling the rental company to figure out how to charge this POS, so I’m not sure of the outcome. I had to leave for a crash report.

EV’s may be the way, someday, but certainly not today!! I’ll stick with my dinosaur burner.