Just Chillin'

I recently found an online radio station that play CLASSIC ROCK 1964 to 1971 and it reminds me of my transition from High School in Cairo, Egypt to College in North Carolina to the US Navy in Norfolk, VA all of this during the peak of the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Woman's Liberation Movement where everyone spent a lot of time and energy burning bras, drinking a little wine, and smoking a little weed.  My time in the military did little for me except allowed me to buy stereo and camera equipment at wholesale prices and burned into my mind that NOT WANTING TO BE IN COLLEGE had been a monumental mistake.  However, the time I did spend in the military provided me with the GI BILL and I finished my BA and MBA degrees without costing me ONE DAMN CENT except my time spent in class and studying and driving to and from campus.

I remember arguing with my College Advisor about my Senior Thesis (yes...  back in the 60's seniors had to write a thesis in order to graduate and receive a BA degree) and how he thought there was not enough substance with my idea.  I had wanted to take the following groups:  The Beatles, The Doors, Simon & Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, Credence Clearwater Revival, The Byrds, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, and The Band and taking ALL THEIR SONG LYRICS analyze them using all the approaches that my English Degree had taught me to use when analyzing the great works of literature including prose and poetry.

This might have been the main reason why I left college and enlisted in the Navy...  I cut off my nose to spite my face...  it seems.

And...  when I returned to that same college, a senior thesis was no longer required...  PISSER...

My English degree did very little for me except open the door to management positions because I had earned a 4 year degree.  My first position was DIRECTOR OF PRODUCT EFFICACY FOR A MICROBIOLOGICAL MEDIA MANUFACTURER...  WTF...  but, a job is a job.

It's a frigging FLAAAAASHBACK....  The Doors...  Light My Fire...

On My Back Porch

Music of the 1960's and 1970's plays in my ears as I contemplate what it is like to again be out on my back porch enjoying the warming weather while listening to the Cream and Hendrix softly whispering into my imagination and memories of what it was like to be a teenager again...  for me, it was not like what others endured because I was white and theoretically was being raised on white privilege...  curiously, my parent's house was smaller than the house my wife and I live in 60 years later.  

We had one bathroom with a shower for 5 of us to use and our outside yard could be mowed in about 30 minutes.  We lived in a community that was considered to be in the country...  4 miles south of Alexandria and 8 miles south of Washington, DC.  My father walked two blocks to catch the bus into Washington where he worked.  My mother did not work and we had 1 car that did not have a heater or an air conditioner because those features increased the base price.  We wore coats and sweaters in the car in the winter and rolled the windows down in the summer.

However, my parents lived better with children than they had lived in North Carolina as children with their parents...  BUT, according to the critics, both my parents and I were raised on white privilege.

WHERE PRIVILEGE ENTERED THE PICTURE was when I attended high school in Cairo, Egypt and attended classes with students of all colors from countries all over the world.  Our 1966 graduating class was 28 in number with 15 different nationalities; in fact, the VALEDICTORIAN of our senior class was a HUNGARIAN COMMUNIST who was flown to Russia after he graduated.  Whites, Blacks, Browns, Asians, Africans, Canadians, Europeans, Chinese, Japanese shared life together, never realizing we were different in color or different in our religious beliefs, or different in our political ideologies.

In the summers and since we could not work, groups of us 10-15 would travel through Europe for 30-60 days.  At that time, we could travel through Europe between $3-$5/day.  We oftentimes purchased a EURAIL PASS that gave us UNLIMITED mileage for 30 days for about $100.  So, the total cost of traveling throughout Europe was about $500.  And...  the education we received was invaluable and had nothing to do with white privilege...  as color was present all around us...   if your parents worked for the US EMBASSY, then you were privileged...  there were just as many blacks as there were whites...

After graduating from high school whatever privileged I had previous enjoyed VANISHED into the thin air of LIFE.  I worked while I attended college because I no longer wanted my parents to control me and require that certain grades be achieved.  I dropped out of college and ENLISTED into the US NAVY and there is no privilege associated with being an enlisted man in the military.

After two years, I was honorably discharged from the active duty military but had to continue 4 more years as a RESERVIST.  Using the GI BILL, I finished my undergraduate degree and also had enough money to complete an MBA.  There was no white privilege there either as I earned the right to have the government pay for my education, especially since we were engaged in the Vietnam War at the time.

Throughout my 45 year career, I was FIRED because I challenged the incompetence of management and refused to kiss the ass of management or violate my integrity.  My behavior was not an example of white privilege...  in fact, it was an example of having no privilege at all.

At the age of 60 I experienced a serious heart attack and my Cardiologist recommended a triple bypass...  My brother was on the Board of Directors of NY Presbyterian Hospital and opened the door for me to fly to NYC and have my arteries cleaned out and five stents inserted over a period of 3 operations.  THIS WAS CLEARLY AN EXAMPLE OF PRIVILEGE and to be quite honest I am glad that MY BROTHER had been in a position to have forced this to happen.  And...  13 years later, my heart is responding perfectly for a man of my age.    

On my back porch, I reflect and remember a not so glamorous past and I wonder if I would have changed anything if given a second change since this is what actually happened and since this is what actually happened why would I ever want to change it?

Similarly...  what's happening now is what is happening...  and, when it is done, why would we ever wish for it not to have happened?  Life happens because it is supposed to happen... and, there is a reason for it to happen whether or not we understand it at the time.  If we loose our freedoms, we were meant to loose our freedoms.

College Degree = Success = Happiness

Many well educated and well experienced people belief beyond a shadow of a doubt that having a college degree in the KEY to having a successful career and happy life.  In fact, some believe that not just a BA/BS degree is required to achieve success and happiness but that one should seek out a Masters Degree as well.  HOWEVER, I would submit to you that MONEY and GREED are at the foundation of success and happiness not necessarily one's education.

In addition to one's education, one must be willing (more often than not) to violate their values, integrity, honor, and sometimes morals in order to achieve success and happiness...  Yet, it is true that education opens the door...  but, there is much more to it than that.

Successful people (not necessarily happy ones) put their FAMILIES SECOND behind their EMPLOYMENT and the company that employees them.  Successful people (not necessarily happy ones) are willing to work 60-80 hours a week, including nights and weekends...   and, in many cases are sent out-of-town on business trips at the drop of a hat.

Their family life is non-existent...  Their vacations are oftentimes spent conducting business as well...  and, many people enjoy combining business with pleasure but not all families with children are able to cope with this lifestyle.

My father's job for instance, took him away from the family for 9 months out of 12 and he allowed this to happen for about 10 years until he could find himself in a position where options were being presented to him.  Those options were being presented ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS SUCCESSFUL at accomplishing a variety of goals at which many others before him had failed.

SO...

there is a new criteria to add to education and experience and that is SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISHING GOALS AND OBJECTIVES...  If you don't there is no promotion and one could face termination of employment.

LIVING UNDER THESE CONDITIONS is not a good methodology by which one manages STRESS.

Additionally, many people are awarded PhD's and decide to teach for a living and even with that amount of education, teachers never become WEALTHY...  They are financially well off, but never WEALTHY...   and, if success and happiness is based upon WEALTH, then these people are never considered to be successful or happy.

I believe after working in a career for 45 years, I can say that the happiest I have ever been is when I had eliminated my stress...  and, once stress was eliminated, I also felt like I was finally successful in life.  Success and Happiness was NOT BASED UPON EDUCATION OR MONEY, but on living a life of contentment and wanting for nothing.

WANTING FOR NOTHING goes against the concept of GREED.  Our entire economic system is predicated upon GREED.  If and when Americans stop wanting more, life as we know it will become meaningless...  and yet, that is exactly what one needs to achieve in order to be successful and happy.  Many wealthy people do not considered themselves successful because there is more money to be earned...  and, while these wealthy people have all sorts of toys, the fact that they want/needs more is an indication that they are NOT HAPPY.

On Being White

IN 0.63 SECONDS, I RECEIVED 4,480,000,000 RESULTS ON GOOGLE AFTER TYPING IN "On Being White."

Most of the results through which I quickly browsed were all directed against the WHITE MAN because ALL WHITE PEOPLE were born into a white world of PRIVILEGE...  or, so it is assumed.

I had WHITE PARENTS who were educated and who raised me to treat all people equally as long as their behavior suggested it...  and, that is exactly how I lived my life.

My father accepted a DIPLOMATIC post overseas at an American Embassy and to tell you the truth, I have no idea if his bosses even considered a black man for the job...  but, if there were no black men available, then it would have been difficult to hire a black man for the job.

Going to high school in Cairo, Egypt, I experienced NO RACISM or PREDJUDICE at all among the students with whom I attended this school...  and yes, there were many people of color attending that school.

When I attended college in NC in 1966, that was the first time that I experienced racism and witnessed white people treating black people differently...  including professors.  However, once I enlisted into the US Navy, there was no racism expressed at all and I remember that my Communications Officer was a black man and I showed him the same respect that I showed all officers in the military.

After college, I had several jobs and I have no idea nor did I ask the person doing the hiring if I was competing with any black people.  However, when I was Dean of a proprietary school, I hired both black and white instructors as long as they had the appropriate credentials and/or qualifications...  and, in my experience, I was never put in a position where there was a white and a black equally qualified and I had to chose one over the other.

Whenever I was promoted inside the ranks of education from instructor to Assistant Dean and then to Dean, there WAS NEVER ANY COMPETITION for the position from either other whites or any blacks that were employed.

NOW...

I am being confronted with WHITE PRIVILEGE and how the WHITE MAN/WOMAN has always had the advantage over BLACKS...

I just don't see it...  making it difficult for me to believe it exists...  and yet, logically, I know it exists...  but, NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE have had a life of privilege...  and, it is that distinction that pisses me off the most about blacks thinking I have had it easy simply because I am WHITE.

I had NO CHOICE in my BIRTH...

and I damn sure had no choice in my birth parents...

NO ONE DOES...  unless they have a direct line to GOD...  and believe that they can influence HIM.

Classic Rock Memories

Radio Station:  Classic Rock '64 -  '71

Commercial Free

• The Beatles
• The Rolling Stones
• The Doors
• Bob Dylan
• Neil Young
• Jimi Hendrix
• The Birds
• T. Rex
• Chicago
• Credence Clearwater Revival

Not too many days ago, I decided to buy some noise reduction/cancellation headphones so that my wife could listen to her music without disturbing me...  and...  while that purpose was not full achieved, I started listening to the above online radio station and just about every song took me back to memories of my past....  most of them good, since I was a carefree soul back then...

Most of these songs and groups were the ones I listened to when I was in High School in Cairo, Egypt and VOA (Voice of America) was the only radio station we could receive...   What we typically listened to was recorded music when someone returned to the US on what was called "home leave.".

The years '66-'68, I was attending college in NC and from '69-'71, I was in the US Navy, stationed at Little Creek, Norfolk, VA.  I received an honorable discharge in 1972 and returned to college...

Going to College

After graduating from high school in Cairo, Egypt and traveling around Europe for 6 weeks, I returned to the USA to work road construction before arriving at my college of choice to live in the dorms while attending classes.  My first semester, I was without a roommate, and my second semester I lived off-campus in a trailer.  I attended college for 5 semesters before dropping out.

For my first 5 semesters, I took a variety of Freshman and Sophomore classes that back in 1966 had been specifically designed to FLUNK NON SERIOUS STUDENTS OUT OF COLLEGE.  I don't think that happens anymore...  as colleges and universities liked generating revenues from student tuitions.  Nowadays, the first two years are designed to help keep you IN COLLEGE.

Not only were many of my first two year classes block classes (as they called them) but the final exams were FOUR HOURS LONG...  nowadays, you'd be lucky to take an exam that was 50 minutes in length.

Cafeteria food was OK if I were to be kind...  and, when I enlisted into the NAVY discovered that meals aboard ship were just as good as any nice restaurant MOST OF THE TIME, especially if we were out-to-sea...  but, in port, they were like college cafeteria food, simply OK.

Some of my Freshman classes had 150-200 students and took place in the auditorium with the professor standing behind a podium on the stage...  and, it was very easy to get bored and stop paying attention.  These were typically art and music appreciation courses and were composed of dull lectures and slides.

Breakfast in the cafeteria was not well attended but lunch and dinner had waiting lines during the 3 hour time period range that students could attend.  I tried going at the beginning, the middle time, and at the end and there were always lines....  with the wait time of 30-45 minutes...  and, then almost impossible to find a seat...  because students would hang around and talk after eating.   The administration had counted on people eating and leaving...  not staying.

Teachers HAD NO RESPECT for students until they reached their JUNIOR/SENIOR years...  and then, they were pushed towards graduate school for some reason...  other than more education for the sake of more education...  and, not necessarily to get a PhD so one could teach.  I did not understand the logic in that philosophy until I retired.

College for me was boring.  Not much more different than high school, memorizing meaningless facts that would never be used after one graduated.  NO PROFESSORS made learning enjoyable or interesting or challenging...  teaching as if they did not really want to be there...  but, had no other choice.

I wasted two years in college...

I wasted two years in the military...

Importance of an Education

In 1966, I graduated from high school in the Spring and entered college in he Fall of that same year.  Two and a half years later, I left college because I was not happy, worked for a year then enlisted in the US Navy and after 2 years realized that in the military was not the place I wanted to be, so I left and returned to college and two years later received a BA degree.  Five years later, I entered Grad School and after 2 more years, I graduated with an MBA.

While my MBA opened doors that would have otherwise been closed, I hardly ever used the knowledge from my MBA in the discharge of my duties until I started designing and teaching classes in Project Management which lasted from about 3-5 years out of my 45 year career.

SO...  what was the point of my education?

From my standpoint, my education provided me with a lot of knowledge but did very little in the performance of my job or in my pay raises or advancements, except opened door as I mentioned.  Therefore, my career could have been just as successful had I received no education at all outside of high school.

First of all, when I left college in 1968 and entered the military, I could have remained in the military for 20 years and retired in 1990 at 43 years old.  At that point, I could have used my military experience and secured another job doing whatever for another 20 years and retired a second time in 2010 at 63.  I still would have been below FULL RETIREMENT AGE to receive Social Security, but I would have income from 2 other pension plans.

During my career, I had an opportunity to talk with a restaurant owner, who after high school got a job at that restaurant as a bus boy...  worked his way up to a waiter, then a cook, then chef, then assistant manager, then manager, and after all those years working for the company was given the opportunity to purchase the FRANCHISE and became owner.

He had no college debts that he had to pay off but when talking with him he came across as a well educated person.  During our conversation, he told me that he read a lot and learned most of his knowledge by reading as there was no tests or pressure on him to retain the knowledge he was reading so it was easier for him to remember.

When one speaks of the IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION, one is always assuming that this means going to college, but college is not for everyone.  I was lucky because the GI Bill paid for all of my college education after I returned to college; otherwise, I would have had TONS OF DEBT to pay off with very little to show for it...  and, because of all that debt, I may have been forced to move out of the South where the wages are traditionally LOW...

Sixties Music

Music of the Sixties underscored my days in college, influencing my actions, my words, and the way that I dressed to go to class.  At my small school in NC, "Joe College" was the dress of the day and carrying one's books up in one's armpit was the style.  So, my jeans and T-shirt approach with a jacket was not that acceptable if I wanted to go out with "nice girls".  What I later found out was that "nice girls" were no different than "bad girls" other than they way they dressed.  As a result of this boycott, me and my boys would go to an "all girls" school 20 miles down the road to play at night...  by the SOUNDS OF THE MUSIC which was always in our minds, hearts, and souls.

It was not just that SIXTIES MUSIC inspired us, but its lyrics were POETIC unlike the lyrics of the 50's...   AND, never again has music had these all encompassing lyrics in just about every single musical group, duet, or individual.

Honorably Discharged from the US Navy

I was almost 25 years old and had spent 21 months in the US Navy on a 2 year enlistment contract, receiving an early out to return to college.  I had joined the Navy after taking a leave of absence from college after 2 and 1/2 years and while my grades were right around a "D+" to "C-" range, I just did not want to pursue a college education.  I don't know if it was because my parents had forced me to go to college or because I had not learned enough in high school, but I was not interested in anything college had to offer me.

However, after spending a year working before entering the Navy and almost 2 years in the Navy, I quickly realized that college offered me what I needed whether I liked it or not...  When I graduated in 1974, four years behind schedule, my grade point average in my major was 3.8 which I thought was pretty damn good, given my previous grades.

Interestingly, looking back on my 45 year career, none of my employers (which included colleges and universities) never once asked to see my grades either before or after being employed.

My Writing Adventure

I have a passion for writing but that does not mean that I am a professional writer or that I am even good at writing...   I just like to write...

My writing journey began in 1972 after being discharged from the US Navy, I returned to college and began writing poetry before class in the student union while drinking coffee...

In 2009, I created a blog for the sole purpose of publishing my poetry, below is the link:

Reflections:  White Scorpion

Here are some examples of the kind of poems that I write...   and, if you do visit my poetry blog please let me know what you think...


We are shielded 
by the loose-fitting
clothes of our failures,
yet we continually 
change our dress to 
the seasons 
of our dreams...
circa 1977

Figments

morning is a figment of my imagination

or, at least that is what it seems to be,

since my thoughts have been stolen by

the very aspect of old age, leaving me

with a presumption of innocence from

not being able to protect them so well.

27Feb17

Available

how silly i am to wonder

as i do these mornings

when alone with my cats

I ponder the universe

and my place within it,

hoping to case purpose

and meaning to my existence

that, in my case, appears

to be a little misplaced;

still, we all have works to perform

people to meet and things

to accomplish resemble a

an answer to our pondering,

but still i wonder in a debating

playful way what it is precisely

for which i am here and available.

4Mar17