Buffalo Tails and Gossip

On every mental intersection there is a corner that must be navigated to get to the next intersection, hoping that one of these intersections will lead to a bridge that takes me to the other side of my thoughts that will eventually allow me to escape the realities of my Sunday afternoon daydreams...  but, the bridge is never found and the intersections continue and turns are taken to the right and left in a desperate effort to escape my own mental limitations of time and space that dwell in the bullet-time memories of The Matrix even though there are no opposing droids from which I must escape.

Nonetheless, there is an ever present need to cope with the Sunday Afternoon Doldrums in which I find myself today as I sit on the back porch listening to the rain pop on the leaves of the trees that guard my Southern Country Chalet in such a way that neighbors cannot see me if I were to decide to go skinny dipping in my hot tub...  

An early evening rain closes the day as it increases the humidity and tests the sensitivities of an older body whose past times are spent on the back porch remembering the family gossip that so often passed from mouth-to-mouth in the days before the television and all the worthless channels provided by cable for a ridiculous price so that employment can be offered to dead beats...

We had the generation of World War II and then the generation of The Korean War that seemed to overlap a tad, and then The Vietnam War that was a National Disgrace followed by TWENTY YEARS of wars in the Middle East...  and now, I am not sure which generation or generations are out there except that they all seem to think that THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING simply because their mother's made mistakes and got pregnant and never considered a government funded abortion...

My generation has been abandoned...  left out on the ice to die which was the Eskimo Tradition in Alaska.  My retired status keeps my footprints out of the marketplace and my SOCIAL SECURITY is paid by those who don't give a shit if I live or die.  By the time these youngsters realize that they have had their heads up their asses most of their lives, I'll be dead and living in an afterlife somewhere in the universe.

The only things that seem to be growing these days are the stupidity of the DEMOCRATIC Party and the ECONOMY and MILITARY of CHINA...

Do You Ever Dream?

I am not talking about daydreaming to avoid paying attention in class or to the speaker at a convention, or to the boss at a staff meeting or to avoid listening to a spouse barking out orders for you to do that day...  this is the daydreaming that takes place when one is lying in bed trying to fall asleep at night.

Just about every night that I can recently remember or in the not so distant past, I have spent the first 15-30 minutes before falling asleep at night daydreaming...  although I am sure that Psychologists have another name for it of which I am unaware.

While my daydreams vary, they are still about the same topic, more-or-less, which is being something that I am not today or will ever become.  And, while that my sound self-defeating it is still nonetheless true because it is the logic of reality.

One of my daydreams is the publish the novels that I have written and become a best seller ending up relatively wealthy (in the tens of millions) and flying everywhere I want to go or visit with a first class ticket in my hand.

Another daydream is becoming the recipient of an inheritance by an unknown benefactor that makes me a multi-millionaire and I build the MODEST house of my dreams that had everything that my wife and I ever talked about but still no bigger than 2,500 square feet.

And yes,  I have never had the nerve to contact publishers and face the dozens of rejection letters I would receive by those who did not think my writing was good enough to publish, so, my daydreams might well have been experienced, but at my age of 72 that is not going to happen.