After two marriages, I have come to the conclusion that more often than not, a male and a female have no business getting married, having children, or should live together and adopt children, UNLESS they are not in love and just see the arrangement as roommates.
Males and females are too different to marry and keep the flames of attraction burning for 30 years or more without having another reason to stay together, like children or finanial security, or health security.
Males and females tend to grow apart after a few years, let's say ten, as they begin to develop their own interests... likes and dislikes... and, when different likes and dislikes appear, then the two people have automatically stepped into the world of roommates.
It is interesting to note here that, a married couple may start out in the same room reading different books together but gradually over time, they end up reading those books in different locations. Why do you think that is? Because they still love each other?
Another issue to look for is the words that are being used when they talk to each other... Or, pointing out things that were done wrong in an effort to help the other person become better... but, it is only better in the eyes of the one who is criticising, never the other person. Those comments may seem and sound trivial but over 5-10 years, the other person starts to believe that there just might be something wrong with them. If there is something wrong, why does the other person remain? Surely, it is not because of love, so what is it?
More often than not, these types of problems start with the male as they are constantly wanting to have sex with other females to prove they are still macho. However, it is happening with more and more females... not so much that they want another husband or roommate but simply they are dissatisfied with what they have. Once you are dissatisfied, no effort is put forth to show you care about the other person, unless there is a health crisis... then the guilt of feeling that way kicks in.
Most of the time this happens in retirement, when the couple finally has an opportunity to spend more time together only to find out they no longer have anything in common.
It is estimated that this happened to 80-90% of the married couples... don't forget that our divorce rate among first time marriages is 50% and has remain that high for the last 10 years. This divorce rate signifies that males and females do not have what it takes to stay together after they get married.
I feel like I should have already experienced my second divorce.
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