Be More Confident

In such a competitive world, the last thing you need to do is undercut yourself. But that’s what a lot of us are doing when we communicate in ways that make us sound less confident, less determined, and less sure of ourselves.

But there’s an effective solution: Swap out weak words and phrases for ones that will make you come across as more professional and capable.

Here’s what psychologists, linguists, recruiters and CEOs say you should avoid using if you want to get ahead, along with simple replacements that will make a big difference in how you are perceived:

1. “Does that make sense?”
What to say instead: “What are your thoughts?” or “I’d like your input on this.”

If you ask “Does that make any sense?” after you’ve finished sharing a thought, you’re immediately giving the impression that you’re not convinced yourself, that your idea might be incomplete.

Rather than seeking validation or approval, you should be asking the listener or reader for their opinions on your idea.

2. “Maybe we should try ...”
What to say instead: “Let’s try…” or “It’s a good idea to try…”


Up until the mid-19th century, “maybe” was written as two words — “may” and “be” — which makes it clear that it literally refers to something that might happen, but might not.

That’s pretty wishy-washy when you apply it to your own ideas or suggestions. Either you believe in what you’re talking about, or you don’t.

3. “I think this would ...”
What to say instead: “I believe this would …”

This is a minor distinction, but a valid one: “I think” sounds weaker than “I believe,” and is a little more doubtful, as if you’re saying something might work, but you’re not sure.

“I believe” puts you in charge of the thought and conveys a calm surety. And even if you’re not so sure at all, no one needs to know that!

4. “I’m not positive, but …” or “I’m not sure, but …”
What to say instead: Whatever you were going to say after the “but”

You don’t need to add disclaimers. Similarly, if you start your sentence with “I know this might be a stupid question, but …” or “I don’t want to sound pushy, but …,” you’re undermining yourself.

It’s an easy rule that bears repeating: Don’t put yourself down. Ever.

5. “I just wanted to touch base ...”
What to say instead: “I wanted to touch base ...”

How many times have you started an email with “Just wanted to ask you if …”? The problem in this case is that the “just” is a softener — almost an apology, as if you’re saying, “I hate to bother you, but …”

There’s a time and a place for that, but business communication generally isn’t.  READ MORE...

Introverts Understand Better

Many of us tend to think of personality traits as either good or bad. Being anxious, for instance, is somewhere between unpleasant and debilitating. Extroversion generally helps people enjoy life and get ahead. But studies suggest things aren't nearly that simple. Almost every "good" trait also has drawbacks, and every "negative" one confers benefits.

Anxiety, for instance, can keep you from enjoying life and taking healthy risks. It also keeps you safe and improves your memory. Introversion is similar. Being quieter is definitely a handicap when it comes to standing out in a noisy world -- studies show that just talking a lot leads people to assume you're leadership material -- but as recent Yale research underlines, being an introvert also has big upsides.

Introverted folks, the study found, may not enjoy people as much as extroverts, but they understand them better. The shy and retiring actually have a much more accurate understanding of the psychology of others than those who spend more time socializing.

Introverts are better "natural psychologists"
Psychologists spend huge amounts of energy developing and carrying out studies to better understand the intricacies of human behavior. It turns out they could probably save themselves a lot of time just by asking the wallflower observing everyone from the corner at parties.

First, the Yale team tested nearly a thousand volunteers to see how accurately they could answer questions about well-established psychological truths -- questions like "Do people work harder in groups or individually?" or "Does taking out your frustrations on a pillow or stuffed toy make you feel better when you're angry?" (The research validated answers are "individually" and "no," if you're curious). Then they gave the volunteers a battery of personality tests. The shy and melancholy definitively outperformed the jovial and friendly.  READ MORE