Becoming More Likable

What determines whether you click with a new friend, or have chemistry with a potential romantic partner? You might think that these processes of interaction attraction are mysterious, or determined by a person’s unique personal attributes—a quick wit, for example. However, research in social psychology suggests that liking and loving are often triggered by simple, mundane factors—like how often you cross paths with someone.


This research offers some practical suggestions for becoming more likeable, which will help you meet your fundamental need for authentic social connection. Here are 7 of them.

1. Be seen.

The more we are exposed to something, the more we tend to like it. This phenomenon, called the mere exposure effect, helps explain why we tend to prefer familiar music to new tunes, elect political candidates with the most media exposure, and grow fonder of acquaintances the more often we interact with them.


So make an effort to be seen—repeatedly. Turn your camera on during Zoom meetings. Comment on your friends' social media posts. Go to the gym at the same time every day to increase the odds of bumping into the same people.

In short, make yourself visible. Just don’t be creepy about it. And don't overdo it. Too much exposure can backfire – evidenced by the fact that you can get sick of hearing your favorite song when it’s overplayed.


2. Remember names.

Remembering someone’s name is important because it signals that they are important to you. On the other hand, failing to remember someone’s name—or other important details about them—undermines the closeness of the relationship.

One of the keys to connecting with others, then, is to remember names. The trouble is that remembering a name can be difficult. One effective, research-based strategy for remembering names is called retrieval practice—repeatedly pulling information out of your head. Shortly after being introduced to someone, retrieve their name from memory. Ask yourself: “What was their name?” Or, use their name during the conversation. The more often you retrieve a name from memory, the more likely you are to remember it.


3. Ask questions.

Be genuinely curious about other people and ask them questions. Research shows that people who ask more questions during conversations are perceived as more responsive and ar e better liked by conversation partners. When you ask questions, particularly follow-up questions (“What was that experience like?”), you show that you’re actively listening and interested in what the person has to say.  TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER FOUR, CLICK HERE...