Emotional Intelligence

Healthy emotional intelligence can bring you greater joy and fulfillment in your own life, and it surely has the power to increase the quality of your relationships. There's a reason why my recent book Date Smart, which sets out to help people find and build healthy relationships, focuses so heavily on EQ skills: Solid emotional intelligence is critical for all healthy intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships. In truth, with so much change and chaos in the world, emotional intelligence is the go-to quality we all need.


But emotional intelligence is not a given. We have to work to gain and maintain our EQ throughout life.

There are five core aspects of EQ:

1. Self-knowledge
2. Self-control
3. Social skills
4. Empathy
5. Personal motivation for self-growth

The depth and breadth of these key components might seem intimidating, but increasing your EQ doesn't need to be complicated. Over the years working with clients as a clinical psychologist, I've developed a simple, actionable strategy that reliably helps people grow in each of these areas simultaneously.

The method is a simple "1-2-3" process. As situations come up in life that bring up uncomfortable thoughts and feelings such as anger, irritation, or confusion, mentally run through these three steps. 

Although the process may feel unfamiliar at first, it will become second nature with patience, practice, and perseverance. Each step naturally increases all five of the core EQ aspects, though some steps will hone certain EQ elements more than others.

With this little "1-2-3" mindset shift—and a lot of ongoing practice—you'll feel your level of EQ growing stronger by the day:  

TO READ ABOUT THESE THREE STEPS, CLICK HERE...

Sound More Emotionally Intelligent

Exhibiting emotional intelligence is more important than ever in the workplace. We are in the midst of the Great Resignation, and people are increasingly less likely to stick with jobs where they do not feel seen, heard, or valued. 

Employees want to work with and for people who exhibit high degrees of emotional intelligence—teammates and managers who project leadership along with self-awareness, empathy, and humility.

The cornerstone of emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, evaluate, interpret, and manage emotions—both your own and those of others—and use those insights to drive positive action. 

This sensibility can improve everything from communication and personal relationships to effectiveness and job satisfaction. Here are some key phrases that are used by emotionally intelligent leaders.

“I’m listening” / “I hear you”

Never underestimate the power of telling someone you’re listening. We’ve all been on the receiving end of barely-made eye contact or lukewarm nodding while we’re mid-sentence with another person. 

How much more validated and valued would we feel if they confirmed we have their undivided attention with some eye contact and a simple “I’m listening”?  READ MORE...