Many of us are taught to believe that we need to be in perfect control of our lives in order to be successful or accepted. But that mindset made me unhappy for years.
Growing up nonbinary, I spent a lot of time escaping to an imaginary world where I controlled everything, including what other people thought of me. I constantly chased this idea that if I could just get that boyfriend, that job, or that money and acclaim, I could finally relax and be happy.
To break this toxic mental habit, I did something drastic: I moved to the woods and lived amongst a community of Buddhists, and have since spent 20 years studying Zen Buddhism.
At the monastery, I learned a valuable lesson about happiness that people often overlook: We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we treat ourselves. Allowing ourselves to feel happy, no matter what our life looks like, is the key to real happiness. READ MORE...
