Thursday, July 31

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Trump made several new tariff announcements. The big red tariff button on the Oval Office desk was smashed multiple times yesterday as President Trump revealed a slew of new trade policies. First, he slapped a 25% tariff on India, plus a “penalty” for the country buying energy and military equipment from Russia. He later hit Brazil with an added 40% tax, partly in retaliation for what he claims is a “witch hunt” against former President Jair Bolsonaro. Trump ended the day by slapping a 50% tariff on all copper imports and then revoking the de minimis exception, which exempts packages worth less than $800 from tariffs, for all countries (he had suspended the provision for packages just from China and Hong Kong in May). The president also said he will not extend tomorrow’s deadline for his reciprocal tariffs to restart on countries that have not made new trade deals with the US.

Microsoft cloud revenue is soaring. The House that Gates Built is as strong as ever, reporting fiscal fourth-quarter revenue that demolished Wall Street’s expectations, thanks to big-time growth in cloud computing. Microsoft’s cloud unit, which includes the Azure platform, generated nearly $30 billion in revenue last quarter, up by 26% from the same period a year ago. Azure produced more than $75 billion in fiscal 2025, Microsoft said—the first time the tech giant has disclosed Azure’s numbers. Microsoft shares were up 20% prior to yesterday’s earnings report and then jumped another 7% in after-hours trading.

High Noon recalled some vodka seltzer drinks mislabeled as Celsius. In what amounts to a “Who’s on First?” routine for drinks you’d find at a post-senior prom party at the Jersey Shore, High Noon announced it was voluntarily recalling its Beach Variety 12-packs after its supplier accidentally labeled them as Celsius energy drinks, which do not contain alcohol. “Consumption of the liquid in these cans will result in unintentional alcohol ingestion,” the company said. The mislabeled packs were sent to stores in New York, Florida, Michigan, Virginia, South Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin between July 21 and July 23. You either die a spiked seltzer or live long enough to see yourself become Four Loko.—AE


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