I turned 77 last month but I do not feel a year older... I feel like it was only last month that I retired at 67 but it appears now... that was 10 years ago... ten years is a frigging decade.
My life has passed by so fast, and I am not the only one who thinks that way - everyone I have talked with who is in their 70s thinks that their life passed by quickly - even those who were in Vietnam and thought it was FOREVER before they got out of there.
Since I am still above ground, it would be easy to say that life has been good to me... it is difficult for me to admit it has always been that way because it has not.
My life... because of my personality... has been not so pleasant for me and/or those around me... I am out-spoken, opinionated, oftentimes rude, and do not think before I speak... Many bridges have been burned behind me and the path I have taken.
But... the passing years have made it difficult to make amends... either I am unwilling to accept those conditions, or the other people are unwilling to give me any conditions... therefore, it is just me, my wife, a friend in Canada, and a few people who live around me that don't care about my past.
I am unapologetic for how I was because that is how I was, and I cannot take back how I was... even if I were to apologize for it... many people do not understand my logic and perhaps, it is not logic but stubbornness.
At this point in my life, I can no longer worry about those who dislike me or who do not want to be friends.... I can only worry about how my life is lived going forward for the few years that I have remaining.
This is the life that is now the most precious for me.
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