Middle Child INTJ

 

I was the middle child in my family.  My sister was almost 4 years older, and my brother was a solid 8 years younger.  

Ordinarily, being the middle child would not have been a problem except that I had an unusual personality.  Years later, when in my 20's, I discovered that my personality, according to Myers-Briggs, was that of an INTJ.  

While it is not the rarest personality type, it is still rare comprising about 2% of the population.  And it is unlikely that INTJs are the middle child in a family.  Yet, as the middle child, I became very introverted, feeling like I did not belong in the family.

I was heavily criticized by both parents for not living up to their expectations of what they thought I should be like.  This pressure on me while not understanding who I was or was supposed to be, caused me to rebel.  My rebellion was executed with exaggeration and after entering my teenage years found myself at odds with law enforcement.

My father took the family overseas to live in Cairo, Egypt and it is there that I began and graduated from high school.  My unique personality flourished in that environment but was soon deflated when I returned to the USA and entered college, again retreating and becoming introverted.

My 45 year career was a constant battle between my personality and the personalities of those around me, those with whom I worked, and those that supervised me - none of whom seemed to understand or appreciate who I was and why I was so different from them.

Close friends, I could count on one hand and true friends, I could count with two fingers, neither of them living close enough to establish a working relationship - one dying of colon cancer when we were in our 60s.  He was my oldest knowing friend as our friendship started in THIRD GRADE.

At 77 almost 78, my personality matters very little to me anymore, although, my second wife and I still struggle at times with my personality.  She cannot understand why I am not more like her.  I cannot understand why she does not understand that I am different from her and always will be.