Giving Feedback

If you need to give critical feedback, it pays to let the other person speak first. This gives them a degree of control, so that you're having a conversation, instead of just speaking to them (or worse, at them).

So, how do you start? Ask them questions like the following:

• How do you feel about (how things are going at work, your presentation, this situation, etc.)?
• What are your biggest challenges right now?
• How can I help?

These questions disarm your communication partner, giving them permission to be vulnerable.

At the same time, you learn how to see things through their eyes. That information will help you contribute to solving problems, instead of adding to them.

Admit your own failures
Everyone hates a "know-it-all." But we love "learn-it-alls"--those who can admit they don't know everything and the lessons they've learned.

When you share a struggle you've had in the past, or a blind spot someone pointed out to you, along with how they helped you improve, you put yourself on the same level as your communication partner. Then, ask if you can pay it forward, by sharing something that you think can help.

By seeing that you're willing to make yourself just as vulnerable as them, they'll be willing to learn from your experience.

Thank the other person
It's not easy to take constructive feedback--even if you deliver it well. So thank the person for being open to listening and improving.

Of course, you shouldn't view these steps as a one-size-fits-all template or formula. It's just a start, to help you on your way.

But whatever you do, remind yourself to focus on making feedback constructive, instead of critical.  SOURCE:  INC. com